I did not wish to do it but the moon hid behind clouds
and I was so lonely. I allowed my hand to tease me
and it’s so much easier for stimulation than dinner
or coffee with a needy person:

— just a fantasy

So my mind asked me: when will you get
a hold of yourself of yourself?
(hmm, never?)
I called my brain up in the middle of the night
and had such a beautiful conversation!

It’s not so hard to make love when yourself is
the real affection: just a fantasy and never
the real thing. I just want to deal with
inside action but never outside confusion.
How people need and bleed like long distance
confessions.

Oh oh oh — it’s not the real thing
but sometimes it’s all you need.

— just a fantasy.

I was asked: “will you get a hold of
your emotions?” I told the psychiatrist I saw
her toys in the drawer of her mind so don’t
preach to me. Oh well then! I’m sure it’s better
if you could get a hold of me. So many times, I
bet you wished I’d heard your secrets –> it’s just
a fantasy and not the real thing.

Fantasy.

:: 09.03.2021 ::