this isn’t about death
LOVE or Hate getting good
feeling Down making moves
loving moments eating enemies
hugging children
this isn’t about life
DEATH i mostly love
how you care for me
do you know what i mean?
i'll come on up or down
sideways or through when
i am ready. Big mouth
of shame the more i wish
the less from here to paradise
no pain no hate
nor nightmares while awake
: should’a could’a would’a buddah
how i love you.
:: 10.18.2022 ::
The cricket woke me!
As it scurried by, I noticed it was wearing a cloth (as if it were a tail!).
I had no sense of what time it was, but I noticed it was (after all!) about daybreak.
(This was later told to me) that many bats are nocturnal, or else they are so easily startled, they flee to cover their heads and hide.
In their defense, I suppose it may well have been mid-afternoon, for there was a palpable somberness in the air.
But, I felt there was no time to lose. I was to find EROS and leave on my mission.
With some haste, I left the dark streets, and headed south. I walked along a dirt path, although I did not really know where it went or to go.
The area was shrouded in darkness (though there was just enough moonlight to see) and as I walked through a hedge of willows I felt disoriented and was careful to go very, very slowly (if not all in terror, I would surely turn to cactus!).
When I reached a “Road” I noticed it had a layer of pebbles on it, and walked past it, just in case there were some venomous snakes on that road. (At that point it would have been more like trying to get out of a sheet of plywood than to a mat of tinfoil!).
As I walked, it became more and more foggy, and though I could see quite a distance ahead of me, in all other directions it was pitch dark.
When I reached the far side of the light of day, I happened to look ahead of me.
In that brief moment, something fell down in front of me!
I saw it laying there, spread-eagled, but before I could move, it rolled right up onto its feet and began running towards me!
It had been a mosquito — and it had died — just because of me!
I was trapped in a painful searing haze of irritation.
I reached for a pocket knife from my pocket, and slowly began inching backwards.
I must not get trapped by the mosquito (i)n that maze!
I was already avoiding all sorts of vermin (e.g. earthworms, centipedes, snakes, scorpions etc) that night; why did it have to choose me!
So, I crawled backwards, very slowly, back to my camp spot.
I stood up, and in my irritation I drew a cross on my heart.
The mosquito landed on a rock, and I quickly looked around. There was no one around.
Then the mosquito’s wings swept over my head, and it disappeared down into the gloom.
I turned around, and began to head back.
But, as I walked, a dim, red light began to grow larger.
The light grew steadily, until it became a helicopter.
As it hovered in the sky, my exhaustion from the previous night began to grow.
The mosquito had chased me all the way to my spot, and was now guarding it!
And so I did what I had to do: I ran away, in a panic, back to my camp, where I found myself comfor(ing) again with the cricket.
I may have forgotten the sun was up that morning, for I was greatly exhausted.
But it was about that time I began to feel hungry, so I sat down at my cooking fire, and, while I ate, I watched the giant stone (that I had almost stepped on), turn slowly.
Eventually, it disappeared.
I then called out in triumph (albeit slightly in jest)
“It’s gone! I can go home now!
I can go back to sleep for the rest of the day!”
And the cricket replied:
“I’m so glad you could finally see that stone. I’m just happy to be here with you. Be sure you come back again and visit me some time!
(If you should find a bug in your hair, don’t scratch it, it will die! Just take me to its hiding place!).”
It may be hard to believe, but each and every cricket inhabits a different cave; though some are inside of rocks.
Some live in the stream that flows nearby,
and some live inside rocks.
But they all love to hang out together — all the insects in this area!
It’s a great group of friends, we spend all day in the cool of the cave,
and the nights are filled with nature’s best.
(These days the cricket — who I now know to be Augustus Insecta, was the only creature to come to my aid, and stand guard over my hut that night — and many nights thereafter.)
And, while I was happy to leave that place, I still took many souvenirs of it with me.
I used bits of it as walls and ceilings, and anything else I could take, and when I built my home at the foot of that giant stone, I built my roof out of it!
And, to this day, whenever I go up to the “Cockroach Tunnel,”
I still look back, and remember Augustus Insecta, who, I suppose, was the real hero of that place.
I know, I know, there’s a lot more to talk about, but I’ve only scratched the surface.
Those are just some quick observations about that particular cave.
There’s plenty more I could tell you, if you care to know.
But you have to start at the very beginning — where it all began —
and you have to come with me now! I’m happy to say I made it all the way!
That’s right — I can’t believe I’ve made it this far, but here I am.
It was a beautiful morning, and I was ready to escape the heat and sun and I figured I’d just walk around, open the gate, and take a look around.
I’d noticed some new flowers in the past days and wanted to see if there was anything interesting around the creek.
I headed up to the rutabagas, and there was something very strange about one that had suddenly bloomed, while I was gone.
I was flabbergasted by it!
Then, I heard a strange sound. It was coming from the pines!
I was so shocked, I forgot what I was looking for — and, it was too late to go back, so I went to see what I had found. I found it quickly, and it was indeed a bee.
But I could tell it was not a normal one. It was not fat, and there was no veil in its wings — I was amazed by its size! It was no bigger than the tip of my finger, but it seemed much, much taller. And, it looked almost as if it might fly away, but it sat on a leaf near the creek’s edge.
It sat there patiently, and then, it began to walk down the side of the hill, as if it was walking to meet me.
“Hi! Hi! I’m the Bee,” he said!
“I know you, I know you!” he said.
“I’ll tell you what I am — I am the longest living creature
who will ever exist. We share this earth with the other
creatures, but, only in relative terms, we have a lot more in common,
and they’re quite nice and useful.
// eprobles.com //
Jason had this penthouse apartment that was centrally located in Beverly Hills.
He was incredibly clean, but in an overwhelming kind of way.
The carpet and stuff were spotless, the cabinets were plastic, and the paint was not chipping. I felt like I was in a Doctor’s office waiting room.
He was snoring loudly, and just at the right moment he opened his eyes.
“Ha! You are dead! This is a dream, right?”
I felt a bit offended, as I was obviously the one snoring.
“No, no!” He pointed at the clock. “It’s 4AM!” (Lucky number 8!).
“You’re a zombie! You’re dead and you’re dreaming!”
“I’m a zombie, alright!” I yawned and started to hack up zombie gore.
“Watch out!” He screamed and jumped out of the bed.
“All right, you monster! I’m dead and I’m dreaming! I’m dead and I’m dreaming!”
He chased me around the room.
“You’re not dead, you’re a zombie! You’re a zombie, that’s just what you are, a zombie, so it’s a dream!” He threw up his hands. “You can’t win!”
“I can’t win, yeah? That’s right, I can’t win. That’s my luck, ha-ha!”
I hope you like midnight horror flicks.” His face crinkled with confusion; the zombies smile that I was always afraid of flashing on.
“Well I didn’t say I was a horror movie person. Oh, that’s right, but you said, I’m dead and I’m dreaming, so that’s a horror movie, right?”
I thought about it.
“Okay, I guess it’s more like…like if a zombie comes to my door…”
“…and it’s not a horror movie?”
“Yeah. It’s just a regular knock at my door.”
“OK, I guess it is a horror movie.”
“Yup.”
“So are you telling me, I’m dreaming?”
“I’m telling you, it’s just a regular knock at your door.”
He hugged me and ran away from the door.
“Oh, no! Zombies are at the door, oh no!”
I joined him and kept chasing the zombie until Jason growled in my ear, “Cristina, I’m the last of my family! I have to protect my kingdom! This is my job! You, you are not my wife! That’s over and done! All that you are, is a woman! You are not a child! I don’t know where you come from, but I’m not marrying you!
I don’t know who you are!”
“Jason, you can’t be an emperor! You’re a zombie, not an emperor. You’re dead and you’re dreaming! This is a dream! Wake up!”
“This is not a dream, this is real life. And you’re not my wife! You’re just a woman!”
“Are you threatening to kill me? If you do I am going to-“
“Cristina, you’re not my wife!”
“No! Stop it, stop it!” I ran back to the bed and crawled under the covers. Jason stood in the doorway of the bedroom with his back to the door, and looked down at me. He was clenching his fists.
“Don’t you dare.”
His back was turned to me, but I could hear him as I lay there.
“If I did, what would happen to you?”
“I don’t know.”
“You would be in the woods. You would be alone, never to find another person.”
“Maybe.”
“No, you wouldn’t be alone. You would have someone.”
“No.”
“Don’t you want someone, Cristina?”
“I’m not a zombie! I can’t just turn into a zombie! You know, don’t you, that a zombie’s life is like a terrible TV soap opera? We’re all dead and we have to live through some very horrible circumstances in order to get back to our old life. That’s what a zombie is.”
“That’s not you, that’s just a movie! You are a real person. And you’re very scared.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Of zombies? Of living alone, of the world going to hell in a hand basket? Of waking up dead and never having a normal day, ever? Of living in a world of nasty zombies?”
“Yes.”
“No you’re not. You’re scared. You’re a person, and you’re scared. You have nothing to be scared of.”
“But you have plenty to be scared of!”
“And I’m scared too.”
“Yes. But the situation is different than yours.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I don’t either. But I know what I saw. I saw your face. You know that? When I turned around and saw you lying there, and the light from the candle was shining on you. I saw your face.”
“You saw what?”
“I saw the fear in your eyes, Cristina. I saw the fear. I saw the fear that a person feels when he looks at the face of someone who could have just turned into a zombie. And I also saw the fear that a person feels when he’s about to be killed by a zombie.”
Jason pointed at the door. “Cristina, I don’t want to hurt you. I want to help you. I want to fix all of this. I am the one that can fix it. Please, come out and help me. Let’s stop this!”
“That’s why I’m under the covers, you maniac.”
“I know.”
“I’d come out for you if I could.”
Jason laughed.
“Maybe next time.”
“One time won’t do any good.”
“I just need a minute, and then we can fix this.”
“What can we do?”
“I don’t know.”
I felt Jason standing in front of the door, looking at me. He was gripping the door frame with both hands and leaning over it.
“How much do you want this, huh?”
“I don’t want this.”
“Then what are you here for?”
“I don’t know!”
“If you don’t want this, you don’t want anything.”
“You’re just a crazy guy!”
“Maybe I am. I don’t know what to do.”
“You should just go away.”
“How could I do that?”
“Go to bed.”
“I can’t sleep without you.”
“What do you want from me? What’s in it for me?”
“You don’t know?”
“No.”
“Just tell me what you want. Tell me, because you can’t hide anything from me, because I already know everything.”
“I don’t know. Something. I just want you. I want to be with you. I want to be your man. I don’t want to be alone.”
“Why won’t you come out, man? I can’t sleep, I need your help.”
“Help me?”
“Help me.”
“You are mad.”
“No, I’m not!”
“You want me to help you kill yourself.”
“No, I don’t.”
“I’m not stupid. I’m not blind. You want me to kill you, Cristina. You want me to feed you my human flesh.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I saw you last night. You wanted me to feed you my human flesh.”
“You’re crazy.”
“No, I’m not. I’m just tired of seeing you in your pajamas.”
“You’re crazy.”
“I’m not crazy.”
“Oh, I know you are. I know you are.”
“I am not!”
“You are. You are totally crazy.”
“I am not crazy.”
“I know you are, Cristina. You are crazy.”
“You’re crazy.”
“No, I’m not. You are.”
“I am not crazy!”
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not.”
“I can hear you breathing in your sleep.”
“I am not sleeping! You’re crazy!”
“You’re totally crazy.”
“What are you doing, here? You’re crazy.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You are, Cristina. You’re crazy.”
“I’m not crazy!”
“You are, Cristina. You’re crazy. You’re crazy.”
I heard the footsteps coming down the stairs. They were slowly and carefully walking down the stairs. They were at least 6 feet tall, if not more.
There was a creaking sound as they approached the door. I didn’t have to open the door to know who it was. I looked down at the floor and then back up. It was Jason. He had changed his clothes and put on a black tee shirt with a skull and crossbones on it and a pair of camo shorts. He was still wearing his tactical pants and boots, with two nightsticks that matched the tee shirt. He was still holding a small dagger, one of the weapons that he had brought with him. He had the rope in his hand, too. He didn’t look happy at all.
I opened the door and Jason stepped in.
“You did this.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I know everything. I saw you. I watched you. I watched you feed her your human flesh. I saw the look on her face. She was disgusted, but she liked it. I watched you fuck her, twice. You came twice in her. Then she woke up. She opened her eyes, and smiled at you. She looked you straight in the eye and said, ‘I liked it.’ You can’t deny it. She is mad.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not crazy.”
“You are. You’re totally crazy.”
“I’m not crazy.”
“You are, Cristina. You’re crazy. You’re crazy.”
I backed up against the wall. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
:: 01.27.2021 ::
LOSING myself within a cupboard
a universe so far away
Our kind so small and lit
within our Souls is our kind
I found the physics of it
to find humans.
Oh. How a bridge is so kind
saw a human eating marshmallow
pies — i pulled back my
machine to report.
And I see how we’re dying.
These ‘humans’ are tearing
down the ‘kitchen’ called
renovation. Destroying
trillions of our kind.
:: 06.10.2022 ::
Dipping in my pool i found myself in an ocean my feet wet my mind fine sang a song, oh whoo woo!
While floating with stomach sunside saw a seagull, it landed on my belly button said, “who are you?”
I said, “a human island in the emerald waters.”
We laughed then shared stories of wings and human legs; we collapsed crying tears both salty like the ocean.
Two scholars of water dreaming.
i was dreaming i was swimming offshore cape cod and thought where am i? these waters are swimming.
Happy feet, spirits, and fins spongebob and patrick too how mister krabs only loves money at bikini bottom.
But my heart is red and my face is smiling 🙂
:: 05.29.2022 ::
AFTER a boring day while the sun was setting across the horizontal line of a world it began.
Sitting next to the pond with her sister a frog crawled out from behind a rock.
“You should not be here.” Croaked the frog.
Somewhat surprised, she told the frog,
“I have to wait for my sister. She is counting the stars.”
A shooting star creased the early flat night skies.
The frog came closer.
“I do not know about stars but sincerely know nature.” Said the frog.
Evie stared at the green frog for a long moment.
“If I picked you up and took you with me I could show you a new world.”
Surprisingly the frog jumped upon her lap. Staring with it’s eyes it spoke again.
“Show me this world. Then I will show you my own world.”
They both nodded in agreement.
:: 05.10.2022 ::
WITHIN the halls of the Council not a sound heard.
The greatest edifice built by the Werelings is
where this transpired.
Countless generations toiled upon its structure
so this moment could be recorded.
It’s a prophecy.
The Werelings are not as you nor as i am.
One of our human breathes is measured as
ten thousand years in their lifetime.
Ergo; short lives compared to humans.
Began the Council with a gavel — yes,
even the tiniest of creatures know
how to rule a court!
Murmur in the seats. Ecto-tech in the
aisles. (much like US Congress in a place
known as D.C.)
“This session will come to order!”
Within his grey beard of light Mr. Alweez
stroked his chin.
Today marks a stupendous occasion. The
finality of a question pondered by the
Wereling history: are there others, more
giant than them who exists beyond the boundary
of vision?
MOST importantly; could we become allies with
these impossibly large creatures? There is no
precedent but historial records describe certain
knowledge hereto hidden by the average Wereling.
Some called them gods or worse — A GOD.
:: 04.19.2022 ::
HOW we eat grapes with swollen lips how we give blood for Love
how butterflies float-dip and grass barely stands
while so wrecked we are “oh those memories!”
For the most i hope all meaning isn’t lost within a small madness
for most i hope: my escape wasn’t much too laggy-loosey
but to be free is the shit yes, it’s all inside our heads
now universal jester court jester of humans ~
i appreciate that but please
to appreciate that but please
nothing is to explain how my heart drips wonderful
memories across all of eternity? [yes] Does it have to be?
Was it meant for me?
Then she kissed and said, “Stay asleep and keep faith. To be
true so true is to repeat yourself
~ “There’s so many ways to confuse your head.” ~
If by meaning — i repeat myself — /Crack a slice from now \ — kick
off your shoes to find yourself free)( for the most i wish by feelings
in morning you’ll begin to see the light which you slept last night
— slip drops stand rolled discuss dead air and please explain
about the many ways we can believe in life
when we leave the Love we held so close.
We held so close.
It’s a Soul boy. Nothing more. Never need to discuss it again — slip out the side
between white and gray — light or dark will set you free.
:: 04/14/2022 ::
“Suppose I am mad,” thought Alice, “or suppose I don’t know. Then I shall just have to live with it like an ordinary person.”
“There’s no use asking whether you’re mad or not,” said the Cat, “you’ll only find out when you die. Now, as to your business—why, you can’t help having it any way. You’re part of a whole and that whole’s mad.”
Alice thought this over and found out that, in a way, it was true. “If I’m not mad,” she said, “how come all these things happen to me, and how come I can see through walls, and–and such things?”
“You’re not mad,” said the Cat, “but you might start being if you didn’t stop to think. That’s the biggest trouble with you young ‘uns: you don’t stop to think.”
“How can you talk all that nonsense!” said Alice indignantly.
“It’s the best of ideas,” said the Cat.
“Oh, shut up!” said Alice.
“Do you think I ought to shut up?” said the Cat. “Do you think it’s going to do me any good?”
Alice began very much to wish she had not asked such questions, for the Cat only went on and on, explaining and justifying itself, till at length a look of thunder came over its face, and it said in a menacing tone:
“As I was saying, you can’t help having it any way. You’re a chicken, after all!”
“Now, you may be right,” said Alice, feeling very much calmed down at once, “and you may be wrong, but it’s a good deal better to be right than to be right foolishly, isn’t it?”
The Cat only grunted this time.
“Now, you don’t really think I ought to shut up, do you?” said Alice; “do you, in your own mind?”
“You’ve quite got it into your head,” said the Cat.
:: 04.12.2022 ::
THE forest is only a shade; once the shadows shed and were-beasts lost are sad; then the leaves are torn off their trees to see the true worth.
No matter where the deer may roam, she looks for a tree and i hold her so sweetly.
I am the tree she depends on. The tree in her heart. I am always there. You are my Queen, i am your river!
The pale blue chalky water stared at the bottom with her shiny black shoes the color of her cheeks. Her shiny white bag that was not much bigger than her body with all her clothes folded neatly inside. Her pretty flowing dress and sweet smile and the pink, frothy lips.
“Dalal, Dalal, do you ever run out of things to do? Like books to read or stories to read to your children?”
She looked at her friend Elie and realized that this man who has been her only friend in three years had always been a good listener. They had arrived at the secluded spot to start their day with a little chatter and conversation.
“You can tell me your stories anytime, Dalal,” Elie said, reading the expression on her face.
She thought he looked pleased, the way he grinned from one corner of his mouth. “I don’t have much to do these days.
I always wanted to learn how to write. So I’ll start today.”
He had already unfolded his long legs from under the wide tree roots, and was looking up to the brilliant blue sky.
“We just arrived in The Forever Land, and the first thing I did was look for the post office, to send my wife and children pictures of the sea. She used to spend hours studying the pictures she had gotten off the internet. And here I am without a good job or money, with no travel opportunities.”
She asked him to tell her about the culture here. “The Forever People are a very friendly and trusting people. And they have this song they sing, very sad. It means, never love anyone but your family. And you never think you’ll find the one you’re meant to love until you get so old that you forget to fall in love. And then the special day comes, and you love again and fall asleep with a smile on your face.”
:: 03.29.2022 ::
 | Damien de Soto on Could I Be |
 | EPRobles on Could I Be |
| Damien de Soto on Could I Be |
| Damien de Soto on Drowning in Fear |
 | romanticallyinclined… on A PECK OF KISSmOuth |
E.P. Robles | Poetry 
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