Tag Archives: #broken

The Deepest River of Love

Don’t want to leave. I can feel you so close to the right side of my soul.

But I feel how you stole my vision, drove me from myself so you can fill
your meaningless world. our only child | i forgot how love felt when i became devoured by horror with a hand, a soul. i got you to agree.

~~ she went into the front door

~he sent me to a place i never knew

the skies were bleeding blood

~~ she left me alone to deal with our youngest child

~~ i now wander alone.

Within the darkness and my soul.

Drowning inside my strong will and I can’t break free.

The deepest river of love ~~~ is good enough for me.

:: 07.11.2022 ::


Breaking My Heart

I want to hear your voice in my mind as you claim me.

Claim me.

I want to taste you.

Taste me, too.

I want you to feed me. The power that lies within my mouth is the power I will employ to make you scream.

Scream.

I want to possess you.
I want to bring you to the edge.
But you won’t let me; you’re in a hurry,
so you push me away with your arrogant smirk.

With your arrogant winking as you take another free-hand
with your fingers, ’cause you’re like that.

I want to be on the receiving end.
I want to give it all to you.
I want to be grateful.
I want to regret.
I want to be satisfied.

There you are again wandering through my dreams,
haunting me, making me helpless to resist.

I want to see you again making me wild, shooting through my body.

Letting me know, listening to me scream and cry for more.

I want to feel you again.
I want to own you.
I want to feel your teeth on my breast.
I want to see you again close to my flesh,
your hair piled high in a manner you have perfected.

I want you to have your way.
I want to feel you again.
I want to fuck you once more,
but this time I want you to be mine till the end of time.

I want to savour it. Till the moment we enter my womb
and know, with our blood, that we are a mother and a father
together.

I want to see the vastness of our love in the walls of our home.

I want to see it, know that we are a family.

Until there is nothing more.

:: 07.07.2022 ::


THE WALKNG LIVING GHOST

i felt dreams dripping away
how i felt the dream for a
day that lasted years.

i still recall the taste of
my own voice laughing for
pure joy knowing deep love.

until it was ripped away.

you can make this go away
you can make this all go away
until it went away.

I still feel the deep pain
of losing everything.

How i still wish something
i can never have…

and now the colors are gone
how love made it go away
how love made me a loser
living scraping inside my head
until i don’t want life any more:

words. spaces. paragraphs
love, inside my head. regardless of
academic structure i want
what i can never have
and those things i lost sting and
break apart this poetic heart.

Tell me: you can make this all
go away so make it all go away
/die\ become a ghost instead
someone who lives upon this Earth.

You walk across my living grave.

:: 03.17.2022 ::


MY MOTHER AND OUR LOVE

MY MOTHER said she loved me
and bar tended drinks to keep
me clothed.

AND ONE NIGHT: she was raped
and I fought two brute men
and they destroyed mother
and me.

I wept. She wept.

The howl of despair ate
our Souls.

Then there we knew humanity
and all its pain within our
heart.

She died recently.

I died then. Many years ago.

:: 10.03.2021 ::


MY DREAMS TAKE ME HOME

Wave to me and say, “only one single tear as a symbol of the price I pay for loving.”

Why do I search for that shining Soul I love and search the page for that name
written in the most elegant hand?

And why do I know that one look will last forever
but if I give up this hope it will destroy me?

Why can’t I sleep with my heart in my mouth, like a bell
that rings only for the grave?

The crickets are at peace and there is a choir singing
so now there is no room for thoughts to speak …
and love stops
and love falls
on everything that’s not.

The rain is turning and the water glistens
at my feet with tears mixed with raindrops.

Now the sky’s too bright and my eyes are saying,
“I can’t see through the mist for I am too tall and
too dark.”

O my dreams.
Take me home.
Take me home.
My dream take
me home.

:: 07.21.2021 ::


THE WOMAN

SHE can bring love with her smile and devastation with indifference
and ruin faith with the turn of her face;

SHE can bring paradise with her arms and paint masterpieces with her lips
and only reveal what she wishes you to see

SHE can bring passion to your life or steal the meaning of all things
breath the deep blue skies and bring a perfect day

Oh, mystery is beneath her footfalls and how her dress bellows while she
never gives out or gives in — she just changes her mind while promising
the Garden of Eden

So love i followed every motion of your emotion as you took care of yourself
and waiting as you want — ooh, she never gives in while singing angelic songs
and cuts you while you bleed

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

She just changes her mind while so kind does anything but gives hope to the lesser
Souls who ache for Love.

:: 12.21.2020 ::


FERTILE SOIL

if i had two hearts;
one for your soul
the other for your beauty

if i were a farmer
i would tend to a garden
and gather today’s eggs

  but as a broken-hearted
  poetry i till words – so
  excuse me;  

you see, i am not here
nor there — and the worse
feeling is planting Love

and nothing Grows.

:: 09.17.2020 ::


TO BE SO SAD

TO be so sad that your tears
flee you is the greatest depth
of sadness.

the perfect point to hit upon the
diamond:  shaving off all humanity
and anyone else…
     whoever gave
a damn is not anyone
i ever knew and that tears me apart.
breaks my heart.

I watch from the tiny window of my
decaying Soul.  

::: 08.02.2020 ::


THE HEART WISHES TO BE HEARD

THINKING here alone about all those muggy nights
thinking of how much my body haS DONE and this heart
i now call Fear__ haven’t we all done crazy and at times
so lately___
i have more been than once hypnotized & paralyzed
as pinned butterfly : now free to fly away_
//..—..\\ a fortress of never-
realizing pas s i n g eyes & whoYOU
within my most private dreams:
dammit! it’s so late or early
& so sick and tired/i never thing
how what i could and can ever do
if lightning once again strikes me
it’s not what i can do to make you
care or love me: it is what i do when
once again lightning strikes me and
you are not there.// nothing i can do
to make you hear me or be loved by
YOU. So, sorry seems to be the littlest
word.

:: 07.03.2020 ::


ERASED EXISTENZ AM i

Creep. Inch-Crawl here.
Thrum’p dead weight slide
Join-locked SNAPPED
knee raised /
/
<FOOT) swoop goes
that beast down the alley
of arrow needs || caused my eyes
to hemorrhage S h at tereD my
heart & MIND. Threw away UP
over and beyond hope @shameless
@ erased existenz am i — YES.

:: 10-05-2018 ::