Tag Archives: #lost

In Love and Half Mad

In love, and half mad. I am stronger
holding my tongue and swear to nothing.
no one knows what it means
no one knows me

Inside i’m dead
that sound? a flute?
retribution for being
more than the life
god gave me?

Who knows?

And who is mad?

:: 09-23-2017 ::


Sing Sister

Sing Sister___

Still sing, even from there, dear sister.
The Spirit of our Lord takes you:
you shall always sing.

:: 10.12.2022 ::


The Deepest River of Love

Don’t want to leave. I can feel you so close to the right side of my soul.

But I feel how you stole my vision, drove me from myself so you can fill
your meaningless world. our only child | i forgot how love felt when i became devoured by horror with a hand, a soul. i got you to agree.

~~ she went into the front door

~he sent me to a place i never knew

the skies were bleeding blood

~~ she left me alone to deal with our youngest child

~~ i now wander alone.

Within the darkness and my soul.

Drowning inside my strong will and I can’t break free.

The deepest river of love ~~~ is good enough for me.

:: 07.11.2022 ::


Our Tears by Ocean and Clouds

pieces falling once into place
now scattered as flotsam
broken over rocks of shorelines
and at last, love sleeps, eddies
of swirling thoughts.

tears of storms, clouds weeping,
Earth’s wet smell as herb: the
passion of our dreams.

:: 01.18.2022 ::


GOODNIGHT DEAREST ANGEL

GOODNIGHT my love and dearest angel
how long since you should
have closed your eyes.

Can we save the deepest questions
for another Life?

I feel you have one upon your trembling
lips; how too I have since I knew you’d go.

And how ships have sailed.
And oceans eat the sailors of
brave hearts.

I promised I could never leave you
and so know: goodnight my love
and dearest angel and now it’s time
to sleep within the ocean’s deep.

Remember all the love we had within
emerald bay eyes — and as an ocean
i am rocking you to sleep inside this
ancient heart of mine.

Always a part of me.

:: 09.03.2021 ::


HAMMERING NAILS

I like hammering nails and speaking in foreign tongues
cause it doesn’t remind me of anything

I like holding my hammer in my hand
cause it doesn’t remind me of anything

I like bringing fire and singing in churches
cause it doesn’t remind me of anything

I like crunching bread and all hell breaking loose
cause it doesn’t remind me of anything

The things that I’ve loved the things that I’ve lost
the things I’ve held sacred that I’ve dropped:

are my deepest shameful behavior

All I have to do is stay off the quiet roads
i will continue to drive slow

cause I like repeating words and knowing what I don’t know
cause I like me and I like me and I like me

sleeping inside a fitful sleep and dreaming of hammering nails
speaking in foreign tongues cause it doesn’t remind me of anything

nothing at all.

:: 10.17.2020 ::


BETWEEN LIVES & THOUGHTS

between thoughts
such depth
my heart sank
–today.
The widow of Souls
now am i –? or
a mirage of god’s
weaker image?
this does NEVER
matter within my
own heart; i am
any-and-everything
i wish to be.

& MORE!

:: 07.22.2020 ::


IF YOU KNEW WHY

Far from me far from self
far from help like the stars
and all the props
of living large

is the hidden face
from the cruel
but smiling mirage
of eternal dreams

So i run away from my skin
far from me far from self
like a calm nest of rattlesnakes
or drowning Jesus aside passing ships

And in all despair i raise my arms
and leap into the air toward
the house that God has built
and wish upon that falling Star

far from me
far from help

:: 04-29-2019 ::


EVEN THE DEAD CAN DIE AGAIN

WE carry heavy moments;
some upon backs and
then when others choose
hearts — burstForth
song and prose!
i know the little mouth
it is my heart but
largest when i write;
and to know humans
who destroy dreams
i say even the dead
can die again
always war

:: 07-25-2015 ::


A HEEL LOST I LOVED

I walked the cobblestone
tripped and fell into the sun
and tasted your love
I loved and died there’s a reason
i shouldn’t stay: that love
of misunderstanding: lost a heel
somewhere between love
and a last chance –> won’t keep me
satisfied : misunderstanding
i gave you a last chance but
you can’t keep me satisfied by
the way you treat me: and
all i want is the heel i lost
for height and attention
and confidence –> accentuate
PUMP: STILETTOS, wedges
M E O W: KITTEN HEELS
ANYTHING but your heart!
(oh is he gone? did he go?
no, no, no way!) I keep
love away! And misunderstanding!
All we are is a mistake!
The heel i lost i loved

:: 07-05-2015 ::