Tag Archives: #death

TOME (dangerous friends inside one’s head)

ATE a memory of all my life & despised my refrain: how soil  and seed brings life or death
 your back turned (i feel blessed)  deciding style and finance
 were your gods so eat what you sow  & throw away wheat &  golden strands of souls

If inside mysterious feelings
you feel stupid and contagious
it’s best to feel a little sick
  and always will do oh do
 until  End / hello \ hell no |
Inside light sounds dangerous voices and touches vicious
 :a baby a fetus –| we tend to forget what makes us smile inside
our horrored MINDS.  Hell oh hell oh hello WAS a mysterious tasting of
stupid feelings worth the pain?
    worse or worst is all a gift even though Life must be better
   before it all Ends.

:: 12.17.2021 ::


MONSTER FEAR

I am miserably prolific /mean butterfly eating my insides\
my writings less agreeable than my dreams:  no fun ||| ate
mud [check]  ate my own heart [check] stood up when i
should have stood down [check]
  wept and cried [x]
danced and went hysterically comical but carried the dead
child which was once me inside as the crowd laughed.
\
  And for ENCORE?  Doing it all over would be pure
poetic MADNESS!  /

i gave all my laughs and tears and guts whether sane
or madness creeps inside but bless who you are and for
the song you sing but no more___for all those hearts of everyone
a star burns out and others explode;  bless your hearts.

AND the claws of monstrous reality pulls me back into my head.

:: 11.05.2021 ::


A HUNDRED POEMS – XXXVI

NATURE states what natural beings
do -=-

that season of pause

between sunrise sunsets, & lastly come?

the tending of maturity’s
sun

:a role berates the youthfulness

of life, then takes a toll

and overworked/ i know i know\

not of spirit but body!

My dying soul.

:: 04-04-2014 ::


HOW THE RAIN CAME DOWN

HOW the rain came down as drops of lit sunshine is why i started to laugh:
since life broke my heart
i found my Soul within a cloud so full of darkness
and thunder-song then i laughed

such deep blues

As though we’d just won a war and the world rejoiced
all inside my head — my skin said, ‘you can leave whenever
you wish’ i decided to stay instead

a heart full of silky scarfs of rainbow colors for us all
summertime out /as if life’s a real thing\

so i cried

as the rain came down as drops of lit sunshine is why i
started my laugh. Butterflies and lonely tears screaming
/reaching for air\ is how rain came down as drops of lit
sunshine is why i started to laugh instead of tears.

but my garden is green and lovely by the touch of my
private heart.

:: 10.24.2021 ::


GELATO DESERT SANDS

AND if you go — love goes away? No, it’s understood.
My love stays as freedom is a breakfast food
as if love can live with right or wrong (undestood)
or rolly-pollies are from frightful mountains made—
long enough just for you and me.

As though pain can pay the rent
regardless of genius please the talentgang comes
to collect the fallen minds and hearts upon
the sidewalks of understanding. Everywhere.

So as it is; my whole life: as my coalwood eyes
burn wint-air oh waiting (my love) for spring ?(y)(w)ou(w)
un-air-stan?me
crazy
me like

evry-ting
we can do it for just Me and You. So bring it (with love)
for a landing — without misunderstanding — as there is no
end what we can do together without end.

see shebert lips of babies and their beating exploding Love-hearts
: with a little luck we can help it out.

:: 10.24.2021 ::


HOW

With heavy BREATHING as (faithfully) her lownecked
throat — something in how her 19th century dress little
topples and expands. Emily Dickinson?

One small foot squared /mired in silk\ wrinkling lost
asking me: how we are here now \ i slowly within
sun-drenched ponderous arms bedecked /time travels —
whose white thick wrist deliver prompoty
to a deep lap of enormous mindless HEART.

How i never believe i now but always in “how”
and how she tells me i need no other lover :
i won’t leave her now/ how i believe her now \
asking me how i believe in her love — i say
“i don’t know oh i don’t know” how?

something in the way she knows. And all i have
to do is think of her — it’s what she shows
me. I believe in “how.”

What I believe in how.

:: 10.24.2021 ::


HITMAN JESUS

He got on his donkey, brushed its shoulder with his hand, sighed and he said, “God bless the earth!”

It just blew him away when he woke up and started laughing.

Well, I’m going to hell.

“Uh huh. Jesus? What’s your name?”

“My name is… what’s yours? C’mon, it’s no big deal, I’m not here to save the world. I just wanted to make a quick buck on my vacation. If you guys can get through this [fake evil laughter]… what can I do for ya?”

“No, we’re not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do. But we need some proof. It’s a simple thing. You have to kill a guy.”

“You sure this is the same crap you came up with?”

“Yeah, all that’s been said has been said, we got your back. Only you can’t kill the guy. No one can. He’s already dead.”

“Really? I thought there were cameras and all. I mean, I didn’t know about this.”

“There’s no cameras.”

“But they know something happened, you have to tell him we’re coming.”

“Well, how would I find the guy?”

“Find him yourself. Then I’m coming back in.”

“Really? Ok, I’ll do that, you bet. Ok, what’s the plan? What’s gonna happen?”

“We’re gonna sneak into his house and do the deed.”

“Oh, really?”

“Really. Come on now, my donkey needs to go home, he’s exhausted. You guys go ahead, I’ll meet you back here tomorrow night.”

All of a sudden, a voice boomed through the silent night air.

“Hey, don’t do this. You’re gonna get us all killed!”

“Who’s that?”

“You’re gonna pay. You’re gonna pay for what you did to me. I’m not dead yet. I’m coming back and you’re gonna die!”

A couple of dudes laughed and broke off a piece of wood. They went over to the guy.

“Here, you just kill him with this. Then we’ll hang him in the yard.”

“Ok, thanks a lot.”

They went to get the rope.

And then another voice boomed through the night air.

“You’re gonna have to kill him first. He’s not dead yet. I’m coming back.”

“Oh, really? Well, I’ll kill him. But first I need a smoke.”

Jesus walked to the edge of the porch, lit up a cigarette and listened to the laughter. And then, there were no more voices at all.

Everyone stopped laughing and just stared at the one man, waiting for him to speak.

Finally, a voice boomed through the night air.

“Don’t kill him. I’m coming back. You’ll get us all killed.”

“Oh, really? Well, what do you want? We can’t just let you walk all over us. I need to know what the hell you want before I kill you.”

The voice came back to life.

“I want to be the judge of what happens to you. I’m coming back.”

“Really?” Jesus was getting a little tired of this.

“Yes, really. You’ll regret this, you’ll see.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll regret this. I’m coming back. I know what I’m talking about.”

“If you know what you’re talking about, how come you’re not the one in charge?”

“That’s simple. I’m coming back. And the person who’s leading this whole town has got to be punished.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you know, I’m on my way back, and the next time I’m on the night shift I’ll be doing the night watch, right in the house that’s being prepared for you guys. See you tomorrow night. Goodbye.”

The footsteps faded away. The peat smoking stick was smoked out and left to burn in the darkness of the night air. Jesus stood there for a moment and stared into the dark night.

“Ok, the only way out is to kill him.”

He turned back to the others. “Guys, we have to do this.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, but we’re going to do it. I have to, I can’t have them taking revenge.”

The guys left in a rush, probably trying to collect their cattle for the night.

And Jesus sat there alone, just staring at the darkness.


IN ANGUISH I AM ALIVE

IN anguish i am alive. As we are whenever
a tear drop has always meant. Fiery and
at times absolute coldness – of all
recorded time and as our yesterdays have
confounded minds always forward toward
a dusty death of revelation.

Always (sometimes?) told by a poet full of
anguish and unrequited love —
that which signifies Nothingness.

:: 10.13.2021 ::


EMBRYO BORN SPLAT

AGAINST the cymbals of echoing blasts
became the embryo born-splat.

The squeals were louder than priests
calling for money upon silver plates
clanging with the clank and claps ensued
STD is the mother of lost souls craving
crunching love.

Yeah. Well.

WHEN i was sleeping but dead-living bangs
ding swish and swooshing rafters of whiffing whizz.
how the heart can ache after it is dead.

fwoosh.

Buzz and barking angry flies. went the mumbling brook;
warble song above a tree branch near the echo moan of yesterday.
where i lay.

Now. All alone.

:: 10.07.2021 ::


INSIDE MY FOOT

Fell down inside my foot  & wonder’d
will i ever be secured?

Ate the poems and children’s stories
of childhood and hung upon the chord
of my insecured    LIFE.

Butterfly poet blurry eyes — what we
think — and wish upon those good ole
days //superluminal light \\
    how organs inside our bodies
play music like an ancient orchestra
upon a wooden floor.

I want to be with mommy now.  She gave
me love and without mysterious energy
: i sometimes remember her smell when
before she just died all i remember is
her smile and love.

\ i wish i could hug just one more time/
oh turn back time to those old days
when she was my age — so stressed out.

now burning a candle of my words
now my name is clearly insane
to those days when mother sang
and those were the best of days

:: 09.28.2021 ::