I did not wish to do it but the moon hid behind clouds
and I was so lonely. I allowed my hand to tease me
and it’s so much easier for stimulation than dinner
or coffee with a needy person:
— just a fantasy
So my mind asked me: when will you get
a hold of yourself of yourself?
I called my brain up in the middle of the night
and had such a beautiful conversation!
It’s not so hard to make love when yourself is
the real affection: just a fantasy and never
the real thing. I just want to deal with
inside action but never outside confusion.
How people need and bleed like long distance
Oh oh oh — it’s not the real thing
but sometimes it’s all you need.
— just a fantasy.
I was asked: “will you get a hold of
your emotions?” I told the psychiatrist I saw
her toys in the drawer of her mind so don’t
preach to me. Oh well then! I’m sure it’s better
if you could get a hold of me. So many times, I
bet you wished I’d heard your secrets –> it’s just
a fantasy and not the real thing.
:: 09.03.2021 ::
…………..opened gaPING MOUths of small wonders ||||||
hiding and running /death ensues\ painting and scribbling prose……………..
are the little thoughts of BEING .:} MEAN IS THIS HEART IF FUCKED WITH….(disclaimer)
I saw a light within the crack of the SKY
staring into my Soul within the blink of an EYE
THE hat man within the dark will bring h is check
(never talk with strangers) s TRANGER daNGER
no more tears 0–> EATING TOXIC GAS …
the mouth goes on to say : IT BEGINS
no singular eye can watch my (screaming) MOVES:
NO MORE TEARS
NO MORE TEARS NO MORE TEARS
:: 07.24.2020 ::
i am held within constant gestation;
little dots called glyph s –words
swim within my Soul. L:0ve me if you
will but love me well if you must love
this is another ‘birth’ and its name
is the subject of this tiny xpreshun
;; 05.13. 2020 ;;
HAVE you never
-ed the edge of
fields so yellow
they smell of Gold?
–the wheat fields
of Vincent Van Gogh
he was a bastard
to most but greatly
to ‘self’ –>kill
but never the Art
nor the Soul
:: 04.29.2020 ::
listen. Of hearts that sing —
wailing aside. Better if eyes
could taste the color love
And in flight with bee
a passionate kiss from thee!
:: 10-15-2018 ::
SOME through the brain
in much Dismay i will say
but my thoughts first
through my heart —
is how my own Life
governed by Soul
on this and every day
For some a prison
whose fears as bars
and regrets like walls
i say best to greet mentation
through Love and Spirit
first and foremost of all!
:: 09-26-2018 ::
MOTHER, all the monsters are now gone as Love and Spirit have \defeated them;
and what is left is a gaping holethat can only be filled by Light and Soul.
Gripping my throat / gripping my soul / gripping all life;
Is my fear\is my fear\is all my undying fear
AND my lover, the other; a woman who stole my heart — i gave her all
that of good & bad; and my heart — always one too!
Don’t you breath upon me my fear!
don’t you tread upon me evil one!
If I could cry and I’ve tried
If I could sleep and I would
I would never belie this fact:
that many hearts are darkly lit
but never within my own heart!
:: 12-01-2017 ::
WHEN love’s cold we cry
women seem so wicked
when hearts are so strained
men seem so distant
when love is so ugly
when we’re alone
when life is down
fears come out
when you’re so weak
hearts are so alone
when lovers are so
unwanted it seems so
cold when we’re so
hungry for love
no one knows how
to live for love
Lovers roaming nights
like when you’re down
when love’s cold
we cry and we all are
so wicked when hearts
are so strained
hearts seem so distant
opened mouths say
‘when you’re strange’
:: 10222015 ::