Tag Archives: #fear

je suis déchiré

je suis déchiré entre
mots
je suis déchiré entre
pensées
je suis déchiré entre
la peur et la vie !

:: 01/08/2016 ::


DOMESTIC QUEER FEAR

I was the perfect appliance for you
fitting so nicely between a stove
and the kitchen sink
I saved you time and cooked dreams
a perfect lover I wiped your tears
when my apron hugged too tight!
I reminded you of a promise
your tears soaked into the stonewerk
and my song killed the moment
when I sang it…
“I am a fear within your brain
a domestic dream you ruined
a perfect dream so special dear
I run from you”
So promise dear a warranty too
our secret washes and cycles heat
and leaves no stains just lemon bright
I saved you time; a special moment
where life holds you and role models die but hearts hear
that you aren’t so perfect too
you are a dream more than he knows
you’re fucking special so fucking special
you are a dream man-girl and i hate you so much


READY TO CONFESS

YOU say, ‘love, so be it’
and i will pretend i am
ready || you whisper
within hot skin ‘I want
to place all my secrets
within your heart’
until i get out of all
this mess//and if you say,
‘I’ll be here when you’re
ready, love.
When you’re ready
to confess.

:: 09-01-2015 ::


THE SEED OF FEAR

i eat a seed of fear
everyday like a vitamin
of weakness ;
it brings me tears

i know the color
of it’s pill
a weakness-pale
of failure
i try to fight
but today i fear
it consumes me
and so i’m gone

it’s never fair
i have so
much to give
but the taste
of weakness remains

and if you ever love
stay away from me
i have too many fears
and i cannot remain
i am a shadow beneath

the footfalls all people who live
and walk through life
i am a tear in the crack
of the sidewalk you walk
just a face imprinted

in fear but i remember
when i was alive
it was everything
but now the seed i’ve
grown; what i’ve become

the seed of fear

:: 08-07-2015 ::


WHEN ANGELS GATHER

AT dusk just when
the light is full
i feel a game:
there is a man,
i worry: somehwere
out there and windmills
so silent my Clock
dimly cries when i’m
not ‘there’ and ever night
i stand fully stripped
of all my own mind — i’ll
never sleep and The Wind sings
go to sleep lovely and since
is never i should completely weep
but i know ‘out there’
there’s a flower (MY OWN
HEART) at midsummer’s keen
beyond and at dust just
when the light is full i
feel a game, there is a man
i worry ||

:: 07-11-2015 ::


FEELS SO LIKE BROKEN GUITAR STRINGS & HEARTS

(baritone voice)
CRITICS and audiences agree: “the best horror story of a decade”
(girlie man voice)
iT’S MORE THAN a feeling
  when i kill you     more than embryo (Tate!) and Manson
dances \ Come load up on guns, bring your friends It’s (sO) fun
to lose and pretend  Who knows if ;the moon
is balloon, coming out of a puss=eye purple windows, flat rooftops!
Towers!  I say reason!  You say you’re stupid, and here we are now!
for without LOVE i do not play!
Awe so cute and dirty kitty so shy i kept her in my wet arms and say
“behind the bath house we went, so stupid, and now!  ROAR!”
i so love you girl and now turn to all my verses ~~ too dangerous
to be on the roads tonight!
so HERE WE ARE NOW
:: 07-10-2015 ::

THE EDGE OF DYING-LIVING LIFE

I’m so kicked and scarred
by this life gotta say mama
never told me how hard
living could be
and a bullet in my side
so dad called the police
and i said, ‘i’m all alone,
on a highway so dead
never alive.’
“are you the one
911 told us about?”
say the medics with their guns
the driver was a pig with
the hungry look needing
grits ooh! and a white tunnel
to the life of the never-after
someone said, “don’t bother
pressing his dying heart”
and the driver yelled,
“got a cramp in my foot
can only drive 55!”
found myself at the gates
one deep south another far
north and both spirits said
“your dead and alive,
got to say no admittance!”
and the DA said we got a jury
to give him life — i’m so
happy, finally life!

:: 07-05-2015 ::


TWO MINUS ONE IS PAIN

TO imagine love
:: life ::
when living is this
worthless dead
rose (do restrain)
when soul/mind complains
this wish through heart
then tragically restrained
weeds contain roses(
love) then Springtime
comes: and humanity
shouts sweetly to lovers
with broken hearts:
success is a tear
shed by the greatest lost
of love!

:: 06-29-2015 ::


I STOOD BY THE RIVER OF LIFE

so like a gentle walk and I don’t know how
i can tell you — won’t ever play with you
and like my mama told me
‘keep precious hearts closely to your soul’
i love you but don’t know you
and can’t believe how people say
‘never let your hair down’
it’s a sad fact like broken hearts
and when I’m out i see you walking
and i think you see me — could it be
you’re playing a game — that’s the way
wars are lost;  especially between hearts
when we are so afraid to be what we are
oh yeah, oh so terribly sad
to feel the tears upon my cheek i hate me
i let my hair down but never knew a heart
that burst fire just for me
should i go alone?  Into the deepest night?
why don’t you ask me?  Could it be you found
another game to play?  Oh!  Maybe that’s the way
wars are lost.  especially between hearts
when we are so afraid to be what we are.
Oh, yes.  Oh la la la…I say with my heart.

:: —— ::


IF I LIE WITHIN MY BED OF PAIN

if i lie within
my bed of pain
let’s call her death
and my sheets i’ve woven
entwined dreams of youth
that i took your breasts
within my mouth
i weep!

and to see how life expands
into a thin string of weakness

and     of   your-heart
and    smile
too i’ve seen thinly die

i ate the dreams
from your mouth

and arguments are stupid things
spectral ghosts of hungry love!
but your eyes and lips and hands
are just as ghostly to my heart
as years that creep away
so do you!

:: ~~ ::