Tag Archives: #fear

ANOTHER DAY OF HOURS

LAST night another day of hours
so full of moments so full of holes
watched a bumble bee so quietly bow
tasted afterburn of Life
was i scared so i was
it was so loud

THEN there are those who group
into a stare while my feet leave
the dangerous floor
was i scared so i was
wasn’t i so proud?

Lord i prayed:  find my soul
beneath the online newspapers
& follow the voice of my dreams
pixelated within a scream
so now how well do you know
how it feels to have four thousand
holes within your tender Soul?
was i scared so i was
the best of me is the best of words
always so bold.

:: 12.17.2021 ::


LIFE IS LIKE A NEW DAY

Dew-EAR (yes dear) my love so sweetly awaits
the first burst of light and too, my heart
it comes today; a morning greeting
i should be there with the bee
spreading harmony-honey
across the empty horizon.

Oh!  Again that cry!
Some forgotten monsters
making love inside a dying
soul’s mind.

They let out that shrieking
last cry while consummating
love.

:: 01-24-2015 ::
REV:  11182021


FLOWER-MOUTH’D DAY

THIS DAY opened its flower-mouth smell the daisy and the roses
saw the blue skies touched her lips
and found God behind a rock my feet deep inside the sand

So i turned yea i turned from the boy i knew
into the man i now am no more begging the dog
next door to stop barking or cussing taking out the trash

ah i got the scars from this world i have a sternum broken in parts
how strange i now enjoy watching the air standing in small spaces
for you for me smelling the flower-mouth of this open-mouthed day

Life tell me more oh tell me more Whether Spring, Summer or Fall
and like Winter — you make it all smell as flower-Spring

My satellite
My love
My self

:: 11.05.2021 ::


MONSTER FEAR

I am miserably prolific /mean butterfly eating my insides\
my writings less agreeable than my dreams:  no fun ||| ate
mud [check]  ate my own heart [check] stood up when i
should have stood down [check]
  wept and cried [x]
danced and went hysterically comical but carried the dead
child which was once me inside as the crowd laughed.
\
  And for ENCORE?  Doing it all over would be pure
poetic MADNESS!  /

i gave all my laughs and tears and guts whether sane
or madness creeps inside but bless who you are and for
the song you sing but no more___for all those hearts of everyone
a star burns out and others explode;  bless your hearts.

AND the claws of monstrous reality pulls me back into my head.

:: 11.05.2021 ::


MY DREAMS TAKE ME HOME

Wave to me and say, “only one single tear as a symbol of the price I pay for loving.”

Why do I search for that shining Soul I love and search the page for that name
written in the most elegant hand?

And why do I know that one look will last forever
but if I give up this hope it will destroy me?

Why can’t I sleep with my heart in my mouth, like a bell
that rings only for the grave?

The crickets are at peace and there is a choir singing
so now there is no room for thoughts to speak …
and love stops
and love falls
on everything that’s not.

The rain is turning and the water glistens
at my feet with tears mixed with raindrops.

Now the sky’s too bright and my eyes are saying,
“I can’t see through the mist for I am too tall and
too dark.”

O my dreams.
Take me home.
Take me home.
My dream take
me home.

:: 07.21.2021 ::


SUN AGAINST THE NIGHT

The nasty dark night ate the sun!

The farmers wailed against the dim moon,

“Be sane, or make it otherwise!”

Yesterday i awoke with a torn brain

against lover’s thousand acidic eyes

ripped apart by dying beds.

My screaming wish held but just Ourselves–
and Immortality.

:: 12.21.2020 ::


REFLECTION OF LOVE

As my sensational sensual moments bleed away and are no more seen by the vilest minds
my face deep within the riches of Earth’s soil away from unthought wars!
Unburdened by high wilt of human rine–
as pure Love has championed over darkly love.

And smallest voices as new born children spiritually cries of Spring keeping new born
butterflies afloat, is where Love strives
as droll god-beasts!

Such is the dance of perception as a reflection
through a prism; or early morning dew drop.

Time that not be for us — as purple roses
are sweeter to the but for me: deeper!

:: 12.21.2020 ::


EYEBALL GOD IN MOUTH

Eyeball god in mouth

Ostara?…Dio?…Luna? …

Is light as hunger for colors?

Eros the god of eyes and the hidden feelings
shameful man with erect cock — sighing sex
in his heart — a crack, deep and wide!

Black Hole!

Punk rock for a Black Hole!

Rainbow and jubilee exploded in flood!

Like a porno universe all of our pornographic desires
moments of starving stars and porn stars!

An eyeless god living in a glass tube with hearts
like hot flashes in heat-blasted rooms!
Pulsing pimples — swirling while a midnight sky
brings forth a cacophony of cosmic screams!

More impassioned raw-animal! More barking!
more vibrations — more imminence!

More sinewy limbs on show — penis I’m looking at —
lifeless grey body but voracious pink face!

It licks and whimpers, suckles and sucks!

Shall I become a statue again? — glazed face with eyes
sheers-white in precession of Venus?

Hey! Taint! Milk it!

:: 11.12. 2020 ::


FATAL THUNDER

fatal thunder was the best one had when she came to me for advice about his economic condition.

she was my first client, she said to me: My husband says I’m a fool for waiting for anything. I’ve been a mistress and a wife and a nurse, but I haven’t made a penny on my own. He makes a living as a taxi driver. I live in a modest bungalow and he has a sprawling country home. I make housework and keep the yard and the cars and two cars in good repair. We spend every weekend in our country home and whenever he is away he brings the mistress and the mistress’s boy and the mistress’s boyfriend and the three men together.

He was twenty-six and I was twenty-five when we married.

I’m not a fool, I told him, and here is how I earn my keep. First, I gather the money in envelopes when it is in my immediate possession. Then I write checks when I am told by the client to do so.
I keep the checkbook with me so I know who I have to go back and ask for more. I have a reliable mover. I have a reliable chauffeur. I have an accurate accountant.
This is how I do it.

When I get in the taxi, the driver asks me the destination and I tell him, and when I get there I get out of the taxi and tell him where to go, and when he takes me to the hotel or the house, I give him the key and when I am getting ready for bed I give him the bill for the room and then I turn out the light and go to bed myself.

In the morning I get up and say, “He’s a fool for waiting.”

I’ve been doing this a couple of years, but now I’m running out of the money I got when I first started.
I don’t get any more checks or checks with letters of explanation from my client, and the money is not growing with my business.
I’m sure if I wanted to I could get another job and earn more, but what would I do with all that time?

It might be difficult for me to do.

So silence and pain are my bed brothers. Love is my sister. Together we weep every night.

:: 09.26.2020 ::


COVID-19

the world is SICK and it is
not COVID-19.

The world is sick and it is
loss of Love

i fell down many steps breaking
my mouth and knees

– felt the sharp sword of
angry hearts.

For they were never loved.

Oh love, oh love come unto
us all. Bleeding deeply.

:: 07.27.2020 ::