Tag Archives: #fear

My Emotions Are Prisoner to Fear

my emotions are prisoner
to fear of release.
i have seen love explode
: remnants of supernovae
and my one remaining fear:
i shall not have love again.

And then once i too walked
with love but was then
a shadow; then now i walk
along the rolling hills
hearing mocking shadows
knowing how much i took

 

this seed within my heart
with passion and color
grew; became a flower
that made good upon grace;
that love watered my roots
until the sun withered it

Which took everything
alas but my fear that
i shall not have love
again.

:: 10-10-2017 ::

 


WORSE THAN ANY DISEASE

|| 2 feet from the mud
on 6 inch heels breathing
difficult words while screaming
it’s all for real
like kissing touching
the weeping burning sun
hugging frail entrails
–while shivering like
bleeding soldiers and
we’re all within a living
hell /together my billion
soul brothers and sisters\
there are some remedies
worse than any disease
my withering hands hold
your face as i offer
an invitation for
memory loss ;
you receive ||

:: 07/30/2017 ::


je suis déchiré

je suis déchiré entre
mots
je suis déchiré entre
pensées
je suis déchiré entre
la peur et la vie !

:: 01/08/2016 ::


DOMESTIC QUEER FEAR

I was the perfect appliance for you
fitting so nicely between a stove
and the kitchen sink
I saved you time and cooked dreams
a perfect lover I wiped your tears
when my apron hugged too tight!
I reminded you of a promise
your tears soaked into the stonewerk
and my song killed the moment
when I sang it…
“I am a fear within your brain
a domestic dream you ruined
a perfect dream so special dear
I run from you”
So promise dear a warranty too
our secret washes and cycles heat
and leaves no stains just lemon bright
I saved you time; a special moment
where life holds you and role models die but hearts hear
that you aren’t so perfect too
you are a dream more than he knows
you’re fucking special so fucking special
you are a dream man-girl and i hate you so much


READY TO CONFESS

YOU say, ‘love, so be it’
and i will pretend i am
ready || you whisper
within hot skin ‘I want
to place all my secrets
within your heart’
until i get out of all
this mess//and if you say,
‘I’ll be here when you’re
ready, love.
When you’re ready
to confess.

:: 09-01-2015 ::


THE SEED OF FEAR

i eat a seed of fear
everyday like a vitamin
of weakness ;
it brings me tears

i know the color
of it’s pill
a weakness-pale
of failure
i try to fight
but today i fear
it consumes me
and so i’m gone

it’s never fair
i have so
much to give
but the taste
of weakness remains

and if you ever love
stay away from me
i have too many fears
and i cannot remain
i am a shadow beneath

the footfalls all people who live
and walk through life
i am a tear in the crack
of the sidewalk you walk
just a face imprinted

in fear but i remember
when i was alive
it was everything
but now the seed i’ve
grown; what i’ve become

the seed of fear

:: 08-07-2015 ::


WHEN ANGELS GATHER

AT dusk just when
the light is full
i feel a game:
there is a man,
i worry: somehwere
out there and windmills
so silent my Clock
dimly cries when i’m
not ‘there’ and ever night
i stand fully stripped
of all my own mind — i’ll
never sleep and The Wind sings
go to sleep lovely and since
is never i should completely weep
but i know ‘out there’
there’s a flower (MY OWN
HEART) at midsummer’s keen
beyond and at dust just
when the light is full i
feel a game, there is a man
i worry ||

:: 07-11-2015 ::


FEELS SO LIKE BROKEN GUITAR STRINGS & HEARTS

(baritone voice)
CRITICS and audiences agree: “the best horror story of a decade”
(girlie man voice)
iT’S MORE THAN a feeling
  when i kill you     more than embryo (Tate!) and Manson
dances \ Come load up on guns, bring your friends It’s (sO) fun
to lose and pretend  Who knows if ;the moon
is balloon, coming out of a puss=eye purple windows, flat rooftops!
Towers!  I say reason!  You say you’re stupid, and here we are now!
for without LOVE i do not play!
Awe so cute and dirty kitty so shy i kept her in my wet arms and say
“behind the bath house we went, so stupid, and now!  ROAR!”
i so love you girl and now turn to all my verses ~~ too dangerous
to be on the roads tonight!
so HERE WE ARE NOW
:: 07-10-2015 ::

THE EDGE OF DYING-LIVING LIFE

I’m so kicked and scarred
by this life gotta say mama
never told me how hard
living could be
and a bullet in my side
so dad called the police
and i said, ‘i’m all alone,
on a highway so dead
never alive.’
“are you the one
911 told us about?”
say the medics with their guns
the driver was a pig with
the hungry look needing
grits ooh! and a white tunnel
to the life of the never-after
someone said, “don’t bother
pressing his dying heart”
and the driver yelled,
“got a cramp in my foot
can only drive 55!”
found myself at the gates
one deep south another far
north and both spirits said
“your dead and alive,
got to say no admittance!”
and the DA said we got a jury
to give him life — i’m so
happy, finally life!

:: 07-05-2015 ::


TWO MINUS ONE IS PAIN

TO imagine love
:: life ::
when living is this
worthless dead
rose (do restrain)
when soul/mind complains
this wish through heart
then tragically restrained
weeds contain roses(
love) then Springtime
comes: and humanity
shouts sweetly to lovers
with broken hearts:
success is a tear
shed by the greatest lost
of love!

:: 06-29-2015 ::