Tag Archives: #fear

F E A R   D I S E A S E

Impossibility has the sharpest teeth
as though a beast unseen within a
forest;  we turn away and give
chase to our thickening disease called
fear and the largest of life’s milestones
are as dust spread across a desert.
And at night while the moon is hiding
her light, thoughts-into-words come
out of the darkest corners while the
clock’s second-hand grinds and goes
grinding;  ten fingers cannot hide an
expression of helplessness and disgust
and two palms protect a jawbone made of
glass.
A branch dancing against the wind;
as a long bony fingernail it scraps
the outside bedroom wall,
a mote of dust now weighs a ton
and comes to rest upon your chest,
night-noises have died and then
they come.
The falling darkness as a gush of wind
encases fragments of time as an amber-tomb.
        into the forest;
and out of your body into that black odor
called fear.
:: 05-03-2018 ::

Thimble & Needle

Thimble and needle hear

my words

you’re too busy these days

to love

I’ve followed you through

and through

the toughest patches of life

and now my thread

has grown too thin

And we’ll never survive

never survive never survive

the stitching of our hearts

Paper, rock and scissors

needles, pins and threader

rulers of horror measure

the terror of my nightmare

as I watch the needle

of your busy work pierce

the tissue of my heart

I’ll never survive

never survive the sowing

of the madness

that’s your mind

:: 04-21-2018 ::


AN OLD LADY THREW ME THE BIRD TODAY

A tongue like Excalibur melts into mythically steeled words
and ends up tearing hearts with all its magical properties.
Then the universe collapses into a final ending with nothing
left but the, “no thing.” It continues to breath and all words
move forward as zombied penguins with many semicolons standing
whimsically awaiting the next coherent thought.

And the deep dreamer asks, “So let me get this straight Jack”
to the Police Doctor on hand. “You want me to take my pencil
and right every wrong for those patients in the mechanical
ward of broken minds?” Just then a portal opens at the foot
of the deep dreamer’s mouth and the little blue clothed
munchkins drag him out of the ward and into a bread truck
and say, “You’re coming with us to settle a bet.”

The bread smells a wonderful Jesus-like body but there’s
no blood-wine to go with the screams.

:: 03-10-2018 ::


THE ENAMELED WILD BEASTS

THE opening to the mouth cave

is a jungle skyscraper

of enameled wild beasts

that eats upon a human power

of intense fragility – a feast.

//\\a devil’s cloven

DownSHOULD

B. stop || hoof while

(should i stop)? risen vampires

by the golden blood of fallen

Angels \\// UPSHOULD b. go ||

flutterby wings.

IS IMPONDERABLY DECADENT

:: 02-11-2018 ::


FEAR AND TYRANNY

MOTHER, all the monsters are now gone
Love and Spirit have defeated them;
and what is left is a gaping hole
that can only be filled by Light
and Soul.

Gripping my throat
gripping my soul
gripping all life;

Is my fear
is my fear
is all my
undying fear

AND my lover, the other;
the woman who stole my
heart — i gave her all
my bad and good; and my
heart always to this one too!

Don’t you breath upon me
my fear!
don’t you tread upon me
the evil one!

If I could cry and I’ve tried
If I could sleep and I would
I would never belie these
facts: that  most hearts are black
but never within my deepest dreams!

:: 12-01-2017 ::


WHEN YOU SAY VAGINA YOU MEAN, ‘VULVA’

THE little tree is life
the mouths of first born
man and woman say:

“I don’t care — I(can’t
)won’t so go away go away
–> so i am he has you
are we and we are together:
see how they run from spirit
–>so we die.
Sitting upon a
rock with burning sun in a
smiling walrus face and so
pretty are the Souls ; crying.

Pulled up to a TigerMart
searching cigarettes and
black tongue tar pit lips:
Left my .357 inside my Mind
and asked for Silver label.

Don’t walk upon my Soul bitch
so self-assured: i am one
man who has gone his own way
IF a lifetime is lonely but
without freeze-brain stupid
flesh knees: “yes, yes, yes,
oooooh yes” I wasn’t once
convinced: the vagina must
be slain. Must be bled
once and for all.

:: 11-04-2017 ::


My Emotions Are Prisoner to Fear

my emotions are prisoner
to fear of release.
i have seen love explode
: remnants of supernovae
and my one remaining fear:
i shall not have love again.

And then once i too walked
with love but was then
a shadow; then now i walk
along the rolling hills
hearing mocking shadows
knowing how much i took

 

this seed within my heart
with passion and color
grew; became a flower
that made good upon grace;
that love watered my roots
until the sun withered it

Which took everything
alas but my fear that
i shall not have love
again.

:: 10-10-2017 ::

 


WORSE THAN ANY DISEASE

|| 2 feet from the mud
on 6 inch heels breathing
difficult words while screaming
it’s all for real
like kissing touching
the weeping burning sun
hugging frail entrails
–while shivering like
bleeding soldiers and
we’re all within a living
hell /together my billion
soul brothers and sisters\
there are some remedies
worse than any disease
my withering hands hold
your face as i offer
an invitation for
memory loss ;
you receive ||

:: 07/30/2017 ::


je suis déchiré

je suis déchiré entre
mots
je suis déchiré entre
pensées
je suis déchiré entre
la peur et la vie !

:: 01/08/2016 ::


DOMESTIC QUEER FEAR

I was the perfect appliance for you
fitting so nicely between a stove
and the kitchen sink
I saved you time and cooked dreams
a perfect lover I wiped your tears
when my apron hugged too tight!
I reminded you of a promise
your tears soaked into the stonewerk
and my song killed the moment
when I sang it…
“I am a fear within your brain
a domestic dream you ruined
a perfect dream so special dear
I run from you”
So promise dear a warranty too
our secret washes and cycles heat
and leaves no stains just lemon bright
I saved you time; a special moment
where life holds you and role models die but hearts hear
that you aren’t so perfect too
you are a dream more than he knows
you’re fucking special so fucking special
you are a dream man-girl and i hate you so much