LAST night another day of hours
so full of moments so full of holes
watched a bumble bee so quietly bow
tasted afterburn of Life
was i scared so i was
it was so loud
THEN there are those who group
into a stare while my feet leave
the dangerous floor
was i scared so i was
wasn’t i so proud?
Lord i prayed: find my soul
beneath the online newspapers
& follow the voice of my dreams
pixelated within a scream
so now how well do you know
how it feels to have four thousand
holes within your tender Soul?
was i scared so i was
the best of me is the best of words
always so bold.
:: 12.17.2021 ::
THIS DAY opened its flower-mouth smell the daisy and the roses
saw the blue skies touched her lips
and found God behind a rock my feet deep inside the sand
So i turned yea i turned from the boy i knew
into the man i now am no more begging the dog
next door to stop barking or cussing taking out the trash
ah i got the scars from this world i have a sternum broken in parts
how strange i now enjoy watching the air standing in small spaces
for you for me smelling the flower-mouth of this open-mouthed day
Life tell me more oh tell me more Whether Spring, Summer or Fall
and like Winter — you make it all smell as flower-Spring
:: 11.05.2021 ::
That blade which takes i took that made what cuts did so did I bleed and took my road: that dust and blood the path my blade had cut for me. My blood your blood my bad my flesh machinery.
i cried aloud to see if the gods were indeed touched by my rage; they did not answer and all my rage is now dust and blood without a single whisper on the sand below.
i did not fall in this glade but it made me fall.
Back to the Restaurant Hip hip ho!
There’s a man in the town who has a silver tongue and so hard to hear, but loud and clear,
he could read the babbles of the natives, they say he can see into people’s hearts
just by looking at them.
That he is wise beyond his years when it comes to the things of the heart, or at least the heart of men.
For this reason we cannot quite explain he is the host of the good banquet and so the heart in the heart of man is a place that deserves his much deserved
What are you looking for? You have asked me many times before. And each time cannot seem to find you. Is it my age? i am an old man. Maybe it is my hair maybe i am ungainly. Perhaps i don’t look the part. The thing is i don’t like them as they’re everything a man should be.
But then there’s a thought maybe they’re trying to eat you. In the middle of winter the sun won’t shine and a man will see only darkness, but the sun isn’t what i mean but you’re a man so you know what i’m getting at.
Of course you do — you’re a man and you have your masculine way of thinking.
Maybe they look different, a lady with makeup she wears it as camouflage as her intentions are to seduce you and are veiled in its many colours.
i am the first to say a woman can’t make a man do anything they don’t want to do. But a man can, a man with a small piece of metal can do what he wants.
If they say no you can leave, leave them be.
But most aren’t like that; they seem to be of that sort, you know why, because most men have never known what real courage is.
i have it in me.
It’s inside me.
That desire that secret desire that we think will never exist
when we’re a boy.
It’s a lust, a dark lust and i have it. i am a man and you are not.
You look for it though just within you — that thing which you don’t know you had but now you do, and this thing you now desire/ you can’t help but see
it’s in you all along.
We’re all of this and it will only be her.
In the middle of winter the sun won’t shine and a man will see only darkness,
but the sun isn’t what i mean but you’re a man so you know what i’m getting at.
Yes you are a man and you know something else: a man with a small piece of metal
can do what he wants.
There is no need to look far and see what that thing is, or what she has to offer and you’ll know it when you see it.
Like winnable wars like broken hearts
feeling there’s no living gods
Like a poem that is out of reach
that no ink can write — i feel you.
While dreaming hope like a smile of love
without a lover a little foot step
without impossible dreams
there’s no unbeatable odds.
Shall I say it again?
With dreams there’s no
invisible walls and i sing,
“I just want you”
There is no Juliet without
Romeo, there are no thrills
without incurable life.
and I just want you
and I just want you
And how are you?
There are no in-crimeable crimes
no reason or rhymes why we lock
doors between living and life.
If there’s an Alpha I say
oh me again (omega) possible
dreams and I just want you
i just want you i just want you
how i dream fall-smiles
within your soul dear
Are all the beautiful flowers of your soul!
:: 10142015 ::
fatal thunder was the best one had when she came to me for advice about his economic condition.
she was my first client, she said to me: My husband says I’m a fool for waiting for anything. I’ve been a mistress and a wife and a nurse, but I haven’t made a penny on my own. He makes a living as a taxi driver. I live in a modest bungalow and he has a sprawling country home. I make housework and keep the yard and the cars and two cars in good repair. We spend every weekend in our country home and whenever he is away he brings the mistress and the mistress’s boy and the mistress’s boyfriend and the three men together.
He was twenty-six and I was twenty-five when we married.
I’m not a fool, I told him, and here is how I earn my keep. First, I gather the money in envelopes when it is in my immediate possession. Then I write checks when I am told by the client to do so.
I keep the checkbook with me so I know who I have to go back and ask for more. I have a reliable mover. I have a reliable chauffeur. I have an accurate accountant.
This is how I do it.
When I get in the taxi, the driver asks me the destination and I tell him, and when I get there I get out of the taxi and tell him where to go, and when he takes me to the hotel or the house, I give him the key and when I am getting ready for bed I give him the bill for the room and then I turn out the light and go to bed myself.
In the morning I get up and say, “He’s a fool for waiting.”
I’ve been doing this a couple of years, but now I’m running out of the money I got when I first started.
I don’t get any more checks or checks with letters of explanation from my client, and the money is not growing with my business.
I’m sure if I wanted to I could get another job and earn more, but what would I do with all that time?
It might be difficult for me to do.
So silence and pain are my bed brothers. Love is my sister. Together we weep every night.
:: 09.26.2020 ::
EVil is a heart racing
leaving shadows behind
In this daylight everything
is lit with a target —
so you try so h ard
Evil is hard breathing
& wishing to hide: no rock
or coverage can hide you:
— wishing to survive
then evil finds you
– the rest is humanity.
everyone just everyone!
wants to taste you and Devour
:: 07.04.2020 ::
i am one breath away from death and my
efforts are useless; the walls built
of cut stone are shocked by my bleeding
nails. My brain i saw it curl up
in steel and bounces like elastic
thoughts — my Soul never breaks so
a pity that i cannot rest. My Spirit
as an eel.
Oh dear, my dear. To those i love;
the blue skies the green waters the
lovers within their cocoons of ecstasy
never speak but touch each other’s hearts
/oh love\ Today i thought so high and
touched the ground and around around
went my mind; south as north so east
as west darling we flow with the wind
of Nature — she knows … go i go i go
so i am one breath away from death
and my efforts are useless …
:: 05-07-2019 ::
Holy is the feeling of you with me
marching through life with me
Struggling with me / some can shine
some even fly and some can slay time
but all these feelings of mine
allow me to cure pain
to endure the bite of my Mind
When you’re with me
beside me and not
against life you’re
with me /. Marching through Life
with this heartbreak called RUIN.
:: 09-25-2018 ::
I am love
emotion of life!
and biggest FAILURE!
THE kiss upon the
cheek of life!
THE birth! AND
death of thoughts!
The sincerest touch
My arms open for all!
who wish to be
my friend — I am you.
As the great SPIRIT
encased within flesh
as we all are blind
to the deepest truths;
but we know we know!
BY DIVINE BEING
we are the MORE!
:: 12-27-2017 ::
so i died just today like yesterdays and
i’m a friend of my own mind so ugly
And today i sang angelic songs cause
i’m so past flesh … yeah, past
yeah, past yeah past …
And if i’m lonely i speak to myself
and once heard how
faulty my pluming is from the bottom
to the top of my sun-bleached skull
yeah yeah yeah
yeah oh yeah
I carry your corpse within my heart
I killed you when you died ~~
and ate the funeral dirt in my holy mouth
and now so happy cause
in my head i found years
of everyday i cared 4 u
i’m so past flesh
and if i’m lonely
i just speak to myself!
:: 08-05-2016 ::