Tag Archives: #despair

WHAT DOES ANY LIVING THING WISH FOR?

IF i see you next to never
  that hour is mine
for ever that it takes,
thinking, burying thoughts
that spring forth in soil
by long fields of tulips.
  at times i get up late
other times early while
i untangle time within
my lost mind — the golden
gulp of sadness swallowed.
  my rage is sad smoothing
the waves of all oceans.
my thin body stretched
towards the sky.
 helicopter petals of
all brilliant colors
swirl upon my head;
at these times no less
than happy hours of bliss
and kisses.
    there is no reason for
love other than love.
it has been the best merger
of words and emotions
scarcely beginning upon your
lips.

:: 09.19.2020 ::


OH ANGEL

OH Angel! Oh my angel
who covers me!
my love my light my spirit;
for past pleasures i do not
grieve, not so: any perils
that gather near —
i’ve a broken heart that
gathers no great grief that i
leave behind — no thing
that claims a tear!
to breath upon Earth is to
merit heaven as if making
hell upon Earth.

Where Souls scorn! A pointing
finger through many a coming
year?

:: 08.12.2020 ::


A DEEP STATE OF YOU

“i’m listening,” i said.
“Well?…”

The words said:

“TELL me how a star can fall
Show me how to avoid it all
Touch my fish bowl but never
Never push me over — WATER!
The nostalgic drink for life
LOVE! — an elixir that
causes changes i’m trying to
hold it all TOGETHER!
i’m puppetized by you
Inside a deep State of You
I’m pauperized within me
Holding on holding on to
you-owe-you just you –”

U N G L U E D___!

:: 03.22.2020 ::


EARTHWORM

FATIGUED and humbled
are the moments
like stretched-broken
dreams of bottomless
desire // call me never
—desired by no one
My name : emptiness
. Nickname: ruinous.
The earthworm needs me.
Evil curses my tolerance.
The world absolutely
B R O K E N. \\

:: 10-05-2018 ::


FLAT SHADOWS

i birthed one of my famous dreams
last night and invited the
whole town. every inconsiderate
thought came and the flat shadows
of my dearest fears.
the Child with no face on the sidewalk
outlines in broad strokes
Despair. a piece of dove of peace
smothered in regrets on a wooden table
served on a terrace of blinding terror.
only the smallest of facts carry
the greatest stories of which this one
is condemned to 3 o’clock each mourning.
before heaven awakens.
before sizzling strains
of gravity prove awakened
minds are too heavy.
as the rest of the town hides everywhere
that sanity has escaped i press
hard into my eyes by thumbs to forget.
manifested dreams is a sidecar
of my mental vehicle. again at sunrise
to find that one last star yet devoured
by daylight. a wish upon that remaining
survivor — allow this to be me!

:: 09-10-2018 ::


ACT (of) ONE

THE curtains open to broken applause
an audience of great mystery
i cannot see their faces
nor their eyes
my Usher flees me!
And Time, the soliloquy
for Thespian lies
with each act an act of Life
and props on spot
for dramatic plots
Agh! my lines evade me!
Evade me for all i am
worthless within my House
of Theater:

The Absurd
The Humour
The Horror
The Love

of tears of joy of laughter
of sorrow of broken lines
upon my heart
upon my face
within the glass
upon the shattered floor

AND within the miles of aisles
of faceless witness
my lines flee me!
Within and without such cosmic shatter
an audience so abstract is my life
an Act (of) One.

:: 08-19-2018 ::


THE LAST HOPE GONE

THE SOUL sat upon a leaf
gently comforting me
I felt sun by moon
as gentle as the bee

Stress gave way to smile
the day made sky
burst worthwhile
then lost by physiognomy!

And skies so beautifully
blue became deeper blue
as a beating bruise upon
my mortal heart!

:: 12092015 ::


A DOOR PAINTED BLACK

i have a dry heart without color
— and watch me go.
i am the begger on the street
begging for a soul,
watching how beautiful people go.
i see a row of living flowers
all colors but never turning black.
i see how your sundress flows,
and i see a line of lovers
some turn their heads.
i am always besides myself
waiting for you through the door
watching the doornob turn.
i say my lungs are blue and if I
open my eyes what shall i see.
I see a door so painted black
and wish you’d turn your head
and listen to the words of my soul.
a heart so full of colors and flowers
that will never turn black,
looking inside myself i see ribs
that shall never turn black
facing facts — i see a bluejay too
looking for her nest and my love
laughs with me and I see a black door
with no doorknob and see how love goes
by and I still turn my head
wishing love to visit my soul

uh huh hmm…uh huh hmm…turning black
she turns her head and fills my
darkest black //

:: 10142015 ::


THE LAST KISS

THE last kiss felt like eternity
i caught myself and all the dreams
i think were real
and the heart tears
a hole in my soul
and i try to kill it
all away…
i saw the gods of love and hate
and tried to kill it all away…
what is life, a familiar pain?
what is love: a poem of death
its what i know
AND i almost had it all!  Until
i let me down
__i made me hurt
and i see a river of little hearts
full of broken thoughts
and i remain eternally
loving what i broke
and i am what i know
all that i could become
just a thought thinking
i could have had it all

:: 07-21-2015 ::


TWO FINGERS ARE GOOD (but three stretches it)

Today I threw up breakfast and my platypus licked it
a regurgitation of  heartfelt platitudes on the floor!
Today I kissed the toe of a gnarly God who likes
to burn ants with stolen lens
somewhere within my     swamp-born brain
I have almost a clear thought;  like the chimps behind the
clear-glassed walls that angels see through
and I’m ashamed — a diaper upon my head
a shit stain on my heart like all the horrors
on two legs begging more

:: – ::