Tag Archives: #poetry

A Lace Torn

He had a good family but didn’t mind that his cold sister didn’t allow him to sit in the crescent at mealtimes.

When he entered the school, a louse was implanted on his chest. He climbed the tree, and when he descended the watermelon was a louse.

His life was diminished by the fall of a pin.

They called his aunt from a neighbor.

He found that from the savory overripe taste of the urine,

“Laat!”

There had been a flight of cymbals.

“It is still winter, just think of it, today is winter.

It was so beautiful for two minutes.

And you, you are speaking about winter, and I am living.”

He noticed her blouse, her shoulders, her beautiful legs.

“What are you looking at?”

“You. You are something remarkable. I love to have you in my arms. And your stomach is so fat, no?

Yes?”

They took some rooms.

The lace was torn, and the bride had a headache from a bash, it had been a jilbab he put on and the veil of the crucifixion.

The bride was in a pajama, and she lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

He took his glasses off, and gave her some water.

“There. Now you can put on the sunglasses. They are there. They’ve been there.”

They lay in bed.

She stroked his head.

She kissed his lips, and he closed his eyes.

“We’ll be there in a minute,” he said.

When they arrived at the party, some people said that they shouldn’t go in the library, but in the next room.

They went into the corridor, and a woman with a small head came out of the library.

“Are you new?”

She put a finger on his lips.

“Are you asleep?”

“Yes, I am very tired. I had trouble sleeping. I was thinking about the problem of God.” he said.

“We’ve been talking about this for a long time. She looks a little suspicious. I know that she does not approve of me. I am very sure. I’ve met her twice in the park. You are so much mistaken if you say that she is my wife. She is a very good friend.”

They went to the room.

The music was terrific.

He remembered dancing with her in the school, with the knife strapped upon her thigh, and with a knife in her mouth. She threw herself to him, and she began to cry.

“There is a man. He wants to send me back to the mountains. He has not given up. The man says that the mountains are more beautiful. I like the mountains very much. It’s very sad to have him look at me like that. The woman says that I am going to die. She says that I am going to die.”

“The laws are different in the mountains,” she said.

“And where are you going to die? And have a problem with the disease?” He asked.

“A lot of people have the disease. They are buried in the mountains.”

“And you are going to the mountains to die?”

“No. In another town.”

“And where is the problem?”

“You cannot live as a lesbian. It is not good. It’s very bad. Yes? A beautiful woman like you, it is not good. It is bad.”

“How do you know all this?”

“The women who live with their women are beautiful and happy.

But the woman who has a man is not.

He goes to the mountains to die, and the woman has a fat belly.

She is unhappy.”

“Didn’t you say something like that before?

You said that if the woman has a man, and her belly is fat, then it is bad.

But this woman is fat.

She is not happy.”

“I told you that I cannot have a man, no?

I am a bad man.

It is not good.

My father was a good man.

He was a member of the Orthodox Church.

He was not happy.

I am happy because I have a man, but he is not happy.

No?

Yes?”

She was holding her head.

She was crying.

“Are you tired?”

He said.

“You have been crying.”

“No, I am not tired.

The woman told me.

I am happy.

I love him.

I love him.

He is strong.

I love him very much.

She tells me that if I have a man, I will die, yes?”

“What does it matter if it is a man or a woman who dies?”

“Because I can not have a man.

He is good, but I cannot have a man.

I cannot.”

“Is it possible to have a man?”

“Yes.

When I was a child, I wanted a family.

My mother told me that I was a man.

But I cannot have a man.

You can not kill a man, and a woman does not want to kill a man.

I want to be with a man.

It’s beautiful.

I want to be happy.

I want to be with a man.

If I want to die, it will be good.”

“If you were going to die,” he said, “what would you like to have?”

“I would have a fruit tree.”

:: 07.01.2022 ::


Hollywood Zombie

Jason had this penthouse apartment that was centrally located in Beverly Hills.

He was incredibly clean, but in an overwhelming kind of way.
The carpet and stuff were spotless, the cabinets were plastic, and the paint was not chipping. I felt like I was in a Doctor’s office waiting room.

He was snoring loudly, and just at the right moment he opened his eyes.
“Ha! You are dead! This is a dream, right?”

I felt a bit offended, as I was obviously the one snoring.
“No, no!” He pointed at the clock. “It’s 4AM!” (Lucky number 8!).

“You’re a zombie! You’re dead and you’re dreaming!”

“I’m a zombie, alright!” I yawned and started to hack up zombie gore.
“Watch out!” He screamed and jumped out of the bed.
“All right, you monster! I’m dead and I’m dreaming! I’m dead and I’m dreaming!”

He chased me around the room.

“You’re not dead, you’re a zombie! You’re a zombie, that’s just what you are, a zombie, so it’s a dream!” He threw up his hands. “You can’t win!”

“I can’t win, yeah? That’s right, I can’t win. That’s my luck, ha-ha!”
I hope you like midnight horror flicks.” His face crinkled with confusion; the zombies smile that I was always afraid of flashing on.

“Well I didn’t say I was a horror movie person. Oh, that’s right, but you said, I’m dead and I’m dreaming, so that’s a horror movie, right?”

I thought about it.

“Okay, I guess it’s more like…like if a zombie comes to my door…”

“…and it’s not a horror movie?”
“Yeah. It’s just a regular knock at my door.”
“OK, I guess it is a horror movie.”
“Yup.”

“So are you telling me, I’m dreaming?”

“I’m telling you, it’s just a regular knock at your door.”

He hugged me and ran away from the door.

“Oh, no! Zombies are at the door, oh no!”

I joined him and kept chasing the zombie until Jason growled in my ear, “Cristina, I’m the last of my family! I have to protect my kingdom! This is my job! You, you are not my wife! That’s over and done! All that you are, is a woman! You are not a child! I don’t know where you come from, but I’m not marrying you!
I don’t know who you are!”

“Jason, you can’t be an emperor! You’re a zombie, not an emperor. You’re dead and you’re dreaming! This is a dream! Wake up!”

“This is not a dream, this is real life. And you’re not my wife! You’re just a woman!”

“Are you threatening to kill me? If you do I am going to-“

“Cristina, you’re not my wife!”

“No! Stop it, stop it!” I ran back to the bed and crawled under the covers. Jason stood in the doorway of the bedroom with his back to the door, and looked down at me. He was clenching his fists.

“Don’t you dare.”

His back was turned to me, but I could hear him as I lay there.

“If I did, what would happen to you?”

“I don’t know.”

“You would be in the woods. You would be alone, never to find another person.”

“Maybe.”

“No, you wouldn’t be alone. You would have someone.”

“No.”

“Don’t you want someone, Cristina?”

“I’m not a zombie! I can’t just turn into a zombie! You know, don’t you, that a zombie’s life is like a terrible TV soap opera? We’re all dead and we have to live through some very horrible circumstances in order to get back to our old life. That’s what a zombie is.”

“That’s not you, that’s just a movie! You are a real person. And you’re very scared.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Of zombies? Of living alone, of the world going to hell in a hand basket? Of waking up dead and never having a normal day, ever? Of living in a world of nasty zombies?”

“Yes.”

“No you’re not. You’re scared. You’re a person, and you’re scared. You have nothing to be scared of.”

“But you have plenty to be scared of!”
“And I’m scared too.”
“Yes. But the situation is different than yours.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I don’t either. But I know what I saw. I saw your face. You know that? When I turned around and saw you lying there, and the light from the candle was shining on you. I saw your face.”
“You saw what?”
“I saw the fear in your eyes, Cristina. I saw the fear. I saw the fear that a person feels when he looks at the face of someone who could have just turned into a zombie. And I also saw the fear that a person feels when he’s about to be killed by a zombie.”
Jason pointed at the door. “Cristina, I don’t want to hurt you. I want to help you. I want to fix all of this. I am the one that can fix it. Please, come out and help me. Let’s stop this!”
“That’s why I’m under the covers, you maniac.”
“I know.”
“I’d come out for you if I could.”
Jason laughed.
“Maybe next time.”
“One time won’t do any good.”
“I just need a minute, and then we can fix this.”
“What can we do?”
“I don’t know.”
I felt Jason standing in front of the door, looking at me. He was gripping the door frame with both hands and leaning over it.
“How much do you want this, huh?”
“I don’t want this.”
“Then what are you here for?”
“I don’t know!”
“If you don’t want this, you don’t want anything.”
“You’re just a crazy guy!”
“Maybe I am. I don’t know what to do.”

“You should just go away.”

“How could I do that?”

“Go to bed.”

“I can’t sleep without you.”

“What do you want from me? What’s in it for me?”

“You don’t know?”

“No.”

“Just tell me what you want. Tell me, because you can’t hide anything from me, because I already know everything.”

“I don’t know. Something. I just want you. I want to be with you. I want to be your man. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Why won’t you come out, man? I can’t sleep, I need your help.”

“Help me?”

“Help me.”

“You are mad.”

“No, I’m not!”

“You want me to help you kill yourself.”

“No, I don’t.”

“I’m not stupid. I’m not blind. You want me to kill you, Cristina. You want me to feed you my human flesh.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I saw you last night. You wanted me to feed you my human flesh.”

“You’re crazy.”

“No, I’m not. I’m just tired of seeing you in your pajamas.”

“You’re crazy.”

“I’m not crazy.”

“Oh, I know you are. I know you are.”

“I am not!”

“You are. You are totally crazy.”

“I am not crazy.”

“I know you are, Cristina. You are crazy.”
“You’re crazy.”
“No, I’m not. You are.”
“I am not crazy!”
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not.”
“I can hear you breathing in your sleep.”
“I am not sleeping! You’re crazy!”
“You’re totally crazy.”
“What are you doing, here? You’re crazy.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You are, Cristina. You’re crazy.”
“I’m not crazy!”
“You are, Cristina. You’re crazy. You’re crazy.”


I heard the footsteps coming down the stairs. They were slowly and carefully walking down the stairs. They were at least 6 feet tall, if not more.


There was a creaking sound as they approached the door. I didn’t have to open the door to know who it was. I looked down at the floor and then back up. It was Jason. He had changed his clothes and put on a black tee shirt with a skull and crossbones on it and a pair of camo shorts. He was still wearing his tactical pants and boots, with two nightsticks that matched the tee shirt. He was still holding a small dagger, one of the weapons that he had brought with him. He had the rope in his hand, too. He didn’t look happy at all.


I opened the door and Jason stepped in.
“You did this.”


“What are you talking about?”


“I know everything. I saw you. I watched you. I watched you feed her your human flesh. I saw the look on her face. She was disgusted, but she liked it. I watched you fuck her, twice. You came twice in her. Then she woke up. She opened her eyes, and smiled at you. She looked you straight in the eye and said, ‘I liked it.’ You can’t deny it. She is mad.”


“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not crazy.”


“You are. You’re totally crazy.”


“I’m not crazy.”


“You are, Cristina. You’re crazy. You’re crazy.”


I backed up against the wall. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”


:: 01.27.2021 ::


A Fraction of Theology

(Those who have followed my poetry know there are certain things I have changed. I am devastated by the realization that my understanding has done nothing wrong! The words come. In day as i am awake, in night as I sleep. The poems always flowing. I rarely change anything and especially will NEVER change my mistakes. As I see my own life as a very large mistake; a boy who should never have survived much less been born to deep poverty of intellect).

If this whole affair shall do in my attachment
to family I easily release it only because
my heart is within splendid love.

 To find happiness in Life
to find love in living
i surrender my Life for Love
if loving is the greatest cost
of the tears i spill in Life

How I walk the seashore  hand-in-hand
talking.  

“How to make you happy in life
without any object in life?”

Well, eventually your strenth will
tell me an impossibility.

“Ask of me.  I only wish a woman to love.”

Well, then.  While the ocean breaks the
shores and the skies move clouds
they watch us — what they say of us?

“They say, we are in deep love my dear.  
The world is in love with a fallen angel
whom loves poetry.”

:: 0.30.2022 ::


My Better Half

LOVE is a taste of Fear
when you don’t move

An Empty canvas of Art

Well, allow me to explain
how you forgot me:

Oh, well, vibrant touch
is what you said years
later when your life
took a turn. And all
I taught you was everything.

Oh how I bleed my heart
then you died, so far away
like a high cloud in skies.

I took a walk outside
surrounded by beating hearts
of insects and humans.

Oh i am twisted around my
head spinning as the sun
falling down — it’s my better
spirit for the Everything
of Lovely World I See —
all that I could be.

The Soul I loved Once.

:: 05.5.2022 ::


The Cave of Mystery


THE mouth of the cave gave mysteries
as butterflies spewed from it’s dark mouth.

The jack rabbit loped away toward the crested
ocean’s shoreline.  The moon stared.  Brilliant
silvery light upon the grounds around the dream
of the poet.  

And words formed into dreams he could not write
until he slept / away from life \ toward the truth
of all that is real.

:: 06.23.2022 ::


Tibetan Breakfast

HOW ugly is beautiful in its exquisite way
and how beauty can be the definition of ugly!

    AS if from great nature’s own abyss
of stores we compare prices  between needs
and wants.  

But miss —

  the philosophical points of existence.

How wonderful is the line of straight and
true:  we can ignore it or perish upon
it’s edges of right or left ~~ which is
the Tibetan breakfast of enlightenment?

Only one eye can tell the truth.

:: 06.23.2022 ::


The Quiet Nights

I would eat the night if the night were angry
  it would be red and bright of yellows

In the sky would anger see the love of me
  i have my ways of soldiering fate

Between Earth, Heaven and Moon i say
  i have drawn a curtain of my skin

To protect the Love of lovers again
  they sing and scream in delight

Again the world shall be reborn
  within my own mind once again

How the feet of lovers move carefully
  their hearts as air, the mouths of care

I am their romantic tune within their ear
  a shadow opened upon their wounds

Again and again how i move the world
  and all the creatures who sing with me.

:: 06.23.2022 ::


Morning’s Passion

And when morning is upon you

It’s like a blessing from God

Hear His voice, He will speak your thoughts

He gives the heart a reason to sing His praise

Who could this save but You through the One

Whose Name we long to speak

Hear the voice of His Spirit, Holy Spirit

Sing His praise for all

And we praise the morning dew and all the world

We praise the heart and soul! Like the first

morning’s petals flowered. Praise for life,

praise for the morning and a passion for Life!

:: 06.22.2022 ::


Bifurcated Thoughts

WHAT is that __
               \
                I am sad or happy]\
? “come on…” talks like a possum
oh Karma arrested police makes me feel\
  –? if it’s what you feel;  if it’s
what Kings and Queens dealt;  oh Night
camera-pareidolia / its what we eat
and what we digest in memories }}oh
forever i lost myself inside time
and space || many little ones \ oh
forget and forgive religion and
all sense of self –P{r}etty\
flesh cave inside the world.

And the world keeps on raining
all the graves opening to begin
again.

: 11.07;2021 ::


Coughing Coffee Beans Next to Books

DID you see that girl in the corner? Next to the books and coffee beans?
Coughing i only smelled the aroma of brilliant coffee like old pages
of a book of sleeping poetry. I felt warm never looked away
so-bent warning (traveling this far) better to say i’m sentimental___(
going through my head amour than this feeling flutter-flying butter
pie. Dropping me to the wooden floor like a devil to it’s knees.

Parapluie above my head (oh my) a heart of paupiette yea oh yea.
All these doors checked ; locked kitchen quiet and dark / dishes
washed: pets fed and plants watered.

Oh romanichel heart. For the world.

Swollen lips – un bisou!

She (the one who loves me and does
not have a physical body) gave: sa suce!