THEN WITHOUT CALAMITY

In this past I remember crickets &
flies indiscriminately conflating
phylum and Genus. Whether my flesh
within Babylon or Bayonne–
tonight is the toast of this Night:
Herr Ludwig Van Beethoven
his anger and brilliance could bore
kind hearts but his sugar notes and
finesse of the keyboard was charity
and progress — so sick am i within
all these strange looks […]
we saw and heard and were all these
sick happy heaps of children on the brink
of pleasant discovery.

:: 07.04.2020 ::


CRYING, WAITING & HOPING

OH! it gets dark dressing yourself
within printed tights
out upon the wiley, windy moors
that our lips clash to agree —
my jealousy too hot, too greedy
how the angel of our misplaced
angles moved posession : it gets
so dark and so lonely — bad dreams
(nightmares) within the night;
telling me how i will lose this fight
i have no name today —
nothing left of me : it’s me
leaving behind my last breathing Life
the One who I love is a supreme i
mean the an
imal without a heart
SO huge this collective pesudobeast

:: 07.04.2020 ::


DYING IN BED

THE bed a crime scene of sorts
a passion spilled in sweat
willingly i go – to my death

he comes to me in the night
a sword sharpened by lust
and thrusts it into my soul

mother, i’m ready to come home
but the line between pain & pleasure
is small compared to the pleasant death

the coroner will say an untimely passing
but my murderous lover knew the timing
each plunge of his knife ever deeper

— // —


PAIN AS LOVE

PAIN as love
thick & forgetting
thinner to remember
that when hate blows
the winds burn each other
— kiss the angel’s baby
lips as pleasure and pain
are one of each as one
hidden That when i speak
i use your beautiful
words since you are within
my aching heart of nothings
.

:: 07.04.2020 ::


EVIL IS

EVil is a heart racing
leaving shadows behind
In this daylight everything
is lit with a target —
so you try so h ard
to hide.
Evil is hard breathing
& wishing to hide: no rock
or coverage can hide you:
— wishing to survive
then evil finds you
– the rest is humanity.
everyone just everyone!
wants to taste you and Devour
you!

:: 07.04.2020 ::


BLEACH THIS NIGHT

TOO BLEACH the night
 every day / a mind
    spinning around
SOME days are rivers
loaded with white-capped
questions/she does it again
\to die forever within her
arms — always to be true/
         Growing up and
growing down so a little
thing  tearing at my friends
–the littlethings that kill
;; cupboard empty as we starve
  who you are : always knew
: growing up and coming down
so too bleached this night
tearing at my brain /every\
never spinning around
   are these little things
that kill.  


IF LOVE IS THE EVERY GOD

IF love is the every god
    then my lungs scream
pink tiny daisies quietly

  man, may his mighty brightness
 sing  a sea of never-met shores
the grey waves for love beginning
seas who lullaby unbiblical noose
  kills so deep & stronger
    than a lonely home comes  young
— a priceless gift:  the only
any illimitable star!

:: 07.03.2020 ::


MARY

i should be a worm
deep inside the green
whatever should i (else)be
cause there’s nothing else
to say — so i write;
some (so many) say i have
no right – no apologies
Within the Sun i Walk
like creme sherbet
so nasty no assault
(glam and wrong — freezer
burned/ i am blamed_) within
the sun – oh Mary! to walk
upon the Waters of our Thoughts
all alone all lonely all
a lone we go we go we go wego
— what else should i be?
nothing but the Sun
within this Sun Mary! Oh Mary!
i wish i was so easily
confused; so that i could grab
all the shame (infamous choking
upon the ashes of my sun)
oh the sun! Mary!
oh Mary.

:: 07.03.2020 ::


SMALL-giant-LOVER

    small GIANT lover  like me
alone ]\]
   little locked cedar box
i am was like-always
        trapped%caught
 within your flesh
       and tender h e art
    oh hey oh wait…
                i am smaller(wondrous-YET)
   now!  oh!  inside a forever priceless
 Soul i walk like a f i n e  S t a l l i o n
       inside? INVITED warmth Orchard
 ANGEL’S hair & babies breath/!\
    i am the bleeding broken hymen
of your precious Heart\  oh hey wait!
   i have scars oh my goodness girl__
like when the evening hushes the Day’s
Light oh you’re invited so invited
unto my private mind&Heart.
      never A complaint!
   listening to this night

:: 07.03.20202 ::


THE HEART WISHES TO BE HEARD

THINKING here alone about all those muggy nights
thinking of how much my body haS DONE and this heart
i now call Fear__ haven’t we all done crazy and at times
so lately___
i have more been than once hypnotized & paralyzed
as pinned butterfly : now free to fly away_
//..—..\\ a fortress of never-
realizing pas s i n g eyes & whoYOU
within my most private dreams:
dammit! it’s so late or early
& so sick and tired/i never thing
how what i could and can ever do
if lightning once again strikes me
it’s not what i can do to make you
care or love me: it is what i do when
once again lightning strikes me and
you are not there.// nothing i can do
to make you hear me or be loved by
YOU. So, sorry seems to be the littlest
word.

:: 07.03.2020 ::