THE VERY UPSET CAT

“Suppose I am mad,” thought Alice, “or suppose I don’t know. Then I shall just have to live with it like an ordinary person.”

“There’s no use asking whether you’re mad or not,” said the Cat, “you’ll only find out when you die. Now, as to your business—why, you can’t help having it any way. You’re part of a whole and that whole’s mad.”

Alice thought this over and found out that, in a way, it was true. “If I’m not mad,” she said, “how come all these things happen to me, and how come I can see through walls, and–and such things?”

“You’re not mad,” said the Cat, “but you might start being if you didn’t stop to think. That’s the biggest trouble with you young ‘uns: you don’t stop to think.”

“How can you talk all that nonsense!” said Alice indignantly.

“It’s the best of ideas,” said the Cat.

“Oh, shut up!” said Alice.

“Do you think I ought to shut up?” said the Cat. “Do you think it’s going to do me any good?”

Alice began very much to wish she had not asked such questions, for the Cat only went on and on, explaining and justifying itself, till at length a look of thunder came over its face, and it said in a menacing tone:

“As I was saying, you can’t help having it any way. You’re a chicken, after all!”

“Now, you may be right,” said Alice, feeling very much calmed down at once, “and you may be wrong, but it’s a good deal better to be right than to be right foolishly, isn’t it?”

The Cat only grunted this time.

“Now, you don’t really think I ought to shut up, do you?” said Alice; “do you, in your own mind?”

“You’ve quite got it into your head,” said the Cat.

:: 04.12.2022 ::


JAWS BENEATH THE SURFACE

And i fall to my knees,

and pray for deliverance from pain,

but my prayers just fade into silence.

And i am left forever bitter,

wondering if i was ever even sincere.

So forgive me Lord, for I am flawed.

I will kill the feelings of my heart.

I am blinded by love.

I will steal a fane and burn a whorl

but i will not lie.

And i will not scream. I will confess.

And i will die for my sins.

i will die.

Amen.

:: 04.12.2022 ::


THE DEEP SLEEP

Look down on your hammer.
You had it for a short time but your fingers are still thick
Your larynx not as dumb as you’d like it to be
Your tongue is dry and your breath wheezes
And there, daddy, at the root of your maw
the steel rod stays planted, because evil has made you.

If your shame and your evil still lives
they will stay anchored in your hammer.

And the stones and gravel that are forever with you,
they too are forever free

The wind through your brown hair
gives me a heart attack, your moustache
makes me sick.

In my muddled mind, I know Daddy, you can lie back now,
and the voices can no longer say that you are a jackal.

Nor the soot from your fire has any further stain.

When a rat that’s always wanted to be a man
did your name for the jackrabbit kill itself?

That which nature didn’t know what you were.

And I think if I’m a golem, it must be too good
to be true.

Father Knows Best.

I’ve seen your work with my own eyes but I always
thought it’d be in movies.

In the bargain basement at Rite Aid
dies every day with your family.

Father Knows Best.

The Kids in the Hall once made fun of you.
Father Knows Best
The Archies had the Grand Finale
where all the songs in one strip,
didn’t make any sense.

Father Knows Best

When you didn’t send your son to college,
he wore a bucket on his head, and became
the world’s greatest magician.

Father Knows Best

You always said, “The car needs fixing, son”
So you fix it, but it still doesn’t run right.

Father Knows Best

You put up with Lola until she got an eye disease.

You let everyone live in your house.

You couldn’t keep me away from rock ‘n’ roll.

And now you are dead.

:: 04.11.2022 ::


PALACE OF FATE

Anything at all! Less wondrous than these dead beauties?  To whom I am devoted when other dead beauties sing I appear and vanish like crystalline birds, like aurora spangled flowers.

What more pure than dead beauty?
To whom I am devoted when other dead beauties weep for me. 
 So name them to me — name them in praise:

‘If e’er thy delight did belong to my caresses thou wouldst be bound with lead to the palace of Fate; you never will prevail — if they were crowned with a sable Queen and a robe of the sky.

I would not only expire but love you dearly in the Palace of Fate.

Every time, and every place, the dead beauties are the same; eaters of all things lovely — Time!   Upon whose watering lips
the world posies a moment (futile, proud, a costly morsel of sweet tears) gesticulates, and disappears — of all dainties which do crowd gaily upon oblivion and sweeter than any one; in life’s very fragile hour (when the world was like a tale made of laughter and of dew) used to stroll (very slowly) one or two women like flowers made, softly used to wholly move slender ladies made of dreams
(in the lazy world and new sweetly used to laugh and love with crisp eyes and frail, in the city of Shambala).

So three cheers for tyranny! Keep your dead beautiful ladies Harun Omar and Master Hafiz.  Aught less wondrous than these dead beauties to whom I am devoted when other dead beauties go vanish to appear like crystalline birds, like aurora spangled flowers.  What more wondrous than dead beauty?

For whom (aye) of all things it is to love, the dead beauties are the noblest (of all).

Somebody gave me this very wonderfully heart-melting poetry-spell, just in
time for the purgatory of my explosive Soul and Heart. For Dead Beauties are lost opportunities and nothing more.  

Anything at all!  Gaily upon oblivion and sweeter than anyone!

:: 04.11.2022 


THE TREE OF YOUR NIGHT

To know the correct line of despair.  
It has no face, does not stand up when called upon.
It is a perfect stance while my own face is full
of Earth’s dirt and grime so i stand at a table unserved
upon a terrace, in the evening and at midnight, by the
ocean of despair.

While our soul’s motors run i curse the gasoline
within my own heart — the road too long, the mileage
is a silver chain around our hearts.  It is not so much
the quantity of small facts like seeds which leave a furrow
for another night’s fall.  Not the last kiss or touch by
a warm body — it’s a deep hole riddled with snow.
   If not for gravity dead birds could never fall
 and my blood isn’t even thick.  i know the correct line
of despair.
   No, not the foam of a dying blue crab
nor the drinking glass // or the hair caught within the
earrings within your jewelry:  but the chase we run against
between living and dying upon the road to unknown routes
like a loose noose \  like the fan of despair around midnight.

Such breathless despair, whose mirrors never tell us if we’re
dead.  This despair cured by the nature of our world:
 to discover the beautiful uprooted tree of your Night.

:: 02.07.2021 ::


THE SONG OF BROKEN HEARTS

Falling love, beyond every line, Resting on the wave
of Life, the breath of your deceitful partner.

Sense the hand of your partner and Capture it, and hold on.

Commemorated within the darkness
as Holidays are bedevilling,

Peer aghast, in time to remember!

Turned away by the force of love.

Be forever contained in silence

Cry for help

then Hold on.

Sings all broken hearts!

:: 04.09.2022 ::


ELECTRIC ILL

DRAGON’S nightly border whose position in every layer of desire
AS man grasps only if he cannot cling to wings — die not after all –
while men weep.

I glance at a profusion of books, all but decayed, all quickly readied for callers.
-Oh what dying Lung AS fuck — \\it’s too late to die & you want him to die only
-but never as long as he can! her man turned himself into the toast of society.
Oh her man died as they say.she now lives with that man who may never die –
who when she left him said she could not go but not die with him.
call him a devil.

-I just now sent her my half-chocolate heart of lovEburst to be sure she received
it well.

nary a living man she’d even known – he had enough// clipped wings
to fly & ampersand a face to let his feelings show.

-What shall I do?

my Lord with that look in your eyes from your androgynous mouth \i took the sun
inside my pen and wrote cum in bright white and pink letters.
and gripped your hips and took myself inside your pink flower.

It’s not what he seemed to feel, not the least bit dismayed in his very busy life
to see all these very old people coming and going; neither did he wish to frighten them away.

How humans age. Even the youth. All their flesh decayed. Love burst.

:: 04.09.2022 ::


THE CITY OF STONES

A year an ear what air!  Into the stoop of a risen sun — i, if i one day learn.  i have always been soft, round, and mellow, and till then; a seemingly comfortable world of softest infancy …under fire i into the warm! heated! reflective!my bitch is five weeks late!  How delightfully airy! & radiant! clear! starry! silent!massless! & unreadable & pallid! uncreated! eternal. young! wondrous! world of ever-new
beginnings…& i…To those i gently return, in love i over him: the thyrsus & tuberoses& pomegranates & ashpauls. Garden’s path. Ever the soil is of the grain & meadow’s adornment. Yeah(that) i aethiram i uthereth. i was dark i was to be. and was”

(from the book of Chrystalish — There’s a Riot of Burning Heart. Chicago: Randur House, 2320.)

“Well, it’s true, though you don’t see them celebrated much, these holy fools.”

:: 04.09.2318 ::


THE SOUND OF BEING

How our faces are friends kissing mirrors
Our steps preceding us –> follows
rooms filled with unfinished visions
like fathom objects of perverted flesh

My head immured my eyes, burned bruises
without history or decency in life
broken teeth fill our mouths.

Like Jesus’ loaves of eternal bread.
:: 04.09.2022 ::


THE MACHINE HICCUPS

THE MACHINE HICCUPS

We drove ourselves to hurt
so sit down in sinister wheelchair
outside greasy road like Mannequin
has to wave our way from genetically
MODIFIED INSECT;
my lover drives blue scarab across desert
land and leaves surreal disturbed dirt

Perhaps someone creative has ice tea
can i sip to quell parched heart you see–
all Inevitable. Please, can I have drink
for rollercoaster aching heart?

And those hot air balloons are too low toward
the ground & watching Golem reaching upward
to knock them like geeks out of the Royal Azure skies — and
they call me a freak//i believe the G.O.D. forgot his umbrella
before he fell from our skies\\ and so who is the freak?