Tag Archives: #horror

IT DISGUSTS ME

It disgusts me
to keep being a man.

The night drags its curtains down like a tired whore
who once, long ago, believed someone would stay till morning.
Every house kills its lamps, one by one,
obedient, cowardly, already half-dead.

They crawl under blankets,
they dream small dreams of bread and rent,
and common sense, that fat jailer,
whispers: lie down, forget, rot quietly.

I spit on common sense.

Yet I remember my mother’s hands folding those same blankets,
her palms cracked from work, still trying to keep someone warm.
I rip the sheets, I tear the night open with my teeth.

I walk.

I walk through barbershops that stink of corpses and cheap cologne,
through cinemas where love is sold in cardboard kisses
that taste like the first kiss I ever stole behind a school wall,
already knowing it would not save me.

My shoes are full of fury,
my eyes are knives that have forgotten how to close,
but somewhere under the blades my pupils are still
the black astonished eyes of a child who once looked for stars
and found only the ceiling of a room that smelled of onions and sleep.

I am sick of roots,
sick of being buried alive in my own skin,
sucking wet earth,
shivering downward like a worm that dreams of wings
and remembers, dimly, that wings were promised once
by a voice that sounded like a father’s, before the voice learned silence.

I refuse the tomb they call a life.

I refuse the clean shirt, the polite smile, the slow suicide of days.
Still, I carry in my pocket a button torn from my dead brother’s coat, a ridiculous small thing I cannot throw away.

Monday comes howling,
a burning wheel dripping blood and gasoline,
and it sees me (jail-face, prison-heart)
and screams louder because I scream back.

But the scream also carries the lullaby my grandmother sang
to stop the bombs from falling, the one that never worked
and that I still hum under my breath when no one is listening.

Look:

Sulphur birds hang from balconies like hanged men,
guts of houses spill into the gutter,
false teeth grin inside forgotten coffeepots,
mirrors puke when they see what we’ve become,
umbrellas rot like black corpses,
navels drip poison into the air we breathe.

And yet, in the cracked window of a tenement
a single geranium keeps trying to bloom, obscene, heroic,
red as the mouth of someone who once said “I love you”
and meant it, even if only for one afternoon.

I walk past orthopedic shops where bones beg to be free,
past yards where underpants and towels hang crucified,
weeping slow dirty tears that taste of every love we murdered,
and of every love that refused to die and embarrassed us by living.

I am done being quiet.
I am done being human in their way.
Let the whole city burn if it must.
Let the night rip itself apart.

But if it burns, let something be saved in the burning,
even if only the memory of a hand that once touched another hand
without asking for papers, rent, or tomorrow.

I walk with my heart on fire,
beating golden wings against the cage of ribs,
beating, beating, beating
until something (god, devil, love, chaos)
finally hears me and answers with thunder
or with rain
or with the small cracked voice of a child asking why the sky is black tonight.

I am not asking anymore.
I am coming.

Carrying both the torch and the tear.
Carrying the disgust and the impossible tenderness that will not let me put the torch down.

All of it disgusts me,
so all of it must change
or all of it must die.
But if it dies, let it die in my arms,
the way my mother died,
the way every small tenderness dies
when the world keeps refusing to be worthy of it.

Then, only then,
I will set the fire
and I will cry into the fire
and the fire will be beautiful
because it will be the only honest thing left.

(Homage to Pablo Neruda)

:: 12.02.2025 ::


The Living Thing Inside Your skull

WHEN you have killed the living thing inside
your Skull spend nights within my Mouth
Speak tales of ancient knowledge
upon a spinning fallen leaf drifting
down youth’s river
And press my tongue against your broken
heart, lift my legs across your shoulders
as a wet nurse, tell me this is but a dream
while our spit dries upon skin.

:: 08.16.2024 ::


A FEVERISH 21ST CENTURY DREAM OF DR. FRANKENSTEIN

(this prose I wrote because I enjoy Mary Shelley’s story of her Prometheus. This is entirely inspired by her brilliant novel, FRANKENSTEIN (1818)).

After a few months I was engaged in preparing a coffin, which I thought sufficient to the purpose. I accordingly measured out the requisite quantity of sand and put it into a basin of warm water, which was put over the face of the body. After waiting some time, I tried again, but the body did not revive. Then I gave it up, saying, “Let it rest in peace, it will not revive.”

But when the time came for another trial, I took the body, and with great care mixed in the required quantity of the water, and applied it to the face. The eyes opened, the tongue moved, the whole being awoke. I was not surprised at this sudden awakening, but I did not expect to have to exert myself so much. I was prepared for some short revival, which might be followed by the same rest. But the effect was as if the body had been regenerated. The next trial was to let it rest for three hours, and after this I put it into the water, and applied it to the face. This time the soul came to life, and in three hours had recovered from its death-like slumber. I was now satisfied that the original body was to be replaced by one animated with life.

It was difficult to determine the right place for this purpose, as it required a considerable amount of money. I took my time about it, and was undecided about a very large house, which was then occupied by my father. He had a very long-winded son, who lived in a small, close, flat, close, and then finally to a close, which was then occupied by a small man, a cook, and a postman. They were always at home, and their mere existence irritated me, as I had to listen to them every moment of the day. The money I had saved, and the rest of my money, were now spent in purchasing the casket.

I was delighted to find a servant, an old woman, who had charge of my rooms, and I gave her a very small sum, as I thought she would like it.

She, on her part, seemed to be so happy at the news of my action, that she called the cook, and ordered him to bring all the articles which she thought would go into a coffin. I then took a few precautions. I sent for a certain boy, who lived in the neighbourhood, and who was employed as a gardener, and had charge of the garden in which my father’s house stood. I told him that I wished to use his services in making a coffin, and gave him the necessary instructions.

I had a large store of furniture, and I employed the boy to pack it all up, and make a casket. I did not know what the thing was to be made of, and I had made a large mistake in the first attempt, so I decided to go and see my father, who had a shop in his house, where he sold, amongst other things, ironmongery.

When I arrived, he said, “I have a coffin to make for you, but it is quite impossible to make a casket out of iron.”

“What is the matter with it?” I asked.

“The joints are too weak. You must have something more strong.”

“Then,” I said, “give me something more strong.”

“The best I can give you is some wood,” he said.

“Wood!” I exclaimed. “I have only one piece of wood in the whole house, and it is too thick.”

“It will do,” he said.

“But I have a great store of iron.”

“Yes, but you will have to get it in a different shape.”

“Then give me a casket.”

“No,” he said, “you must make your own.”

“Then,” I said, “I must make a casket.”

“You must not,” he said, “for it will be very difficult.”

“I must,” I said, “for my life is in it.”

“I cannot let you make it.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“Because,” he said, “it will take you a long time to make it.”

“I will,” I said, “and then you must give me the money to buy the wood.”

“No,” he said, “I cannot.”

“Then,” I said, “I will go to my father, and he will give me the money.”

“No,” he said, “for it will cost you more than you can afford.”

“But I must,” I said, “for my life is in it.”

THE AWAKEN

The coffin was finally complete, a testament to my relentless pursuit and the silent accomplices who unknowingly aided me. It stood in the dimly lit basement, a grotesque monument to my obsession. The wood gleamed with an eerie sheen, as if anticipating the life it was about to cradle.

With trembling hands, I lifted the lifeless body and gently placed it inside the coffin. My heart raced with a mixture of dread and exhilaration. This was the moment I had been striving for—a moment that could redefine the boundaries of life and death.

I carefully closed the lid, sealing the body within. The air in the basement grew thick with anticipation. I took a deep breath and began the final phase of my experiment. I connected the electrodes to the casket, ensuring every wire was perfectly in place. The generator hummed to life, its low vibration echoing through the room.

I had acquired a rare chemical compound, rumored to enhance cellular regeneration, from a clandestine source. The vial of luminescent blue liquid seemed to pulsate with a life of its own. I injected it into the veins of the deceased, watching as it spread through the body, infusing it with an otherworldly glow.

The moment had arrived. I activated the generator, sending a surge of electricity through the body. The room filled with the crackling sound of energy, and the casket shook violently. I watched in breathless anticipation as the body convulsed, every muscle twitching under the electric current.

Minutes felt like hours as I observed the transformation. The blue glow intensified, spreading throughout the body. Then, suddenly, the convulsions ceased. Silence fell over the basement, broken only by the fading hum of the generator.

I approached the coffin with cautious hope. Slowly, I lifted the lid. The body lay still, the blue glow dimming. My heart sank, and despair began to creep in. Had all my efforts been in vain?

Then, a miracle. The fingers twitched, followed by a slight movement of the arm. The eyes fluttered open, revealing a pair of piercing, luminous blue orbs. The once lifeless body now exuded an aura of vitality, a testament to my success.

“Can you hear me?” I whispered, my voice trembling.

The being’s eyes focused on me, and it nodded slowly. My heart swelled with triumph. I had done it. I had conquered death.

But as I looked into those unearthly eyes, a chilling realization began to dawn. This was not merely a resurrection. This was something entirely new, something beyond my comprehension.

The creature sat up, its movements fluid yet disconcertingly mechanical. It regarded me with an intensity that sent shivers down my spine. I had given it life, but what kind of life had I created?

“Who… am I?” the creature asked, its voice a haunting blend of human and machine.

“You are my creation,” I replied, struggling to mask my unease. “You are a new beginning.”

The creature tilted its head, processing my words. “What is my purpose?”

I hesitated. In my quest to conquer death, I had not considered the implications of this new existence. “To live,” I finally said. “To experience the world and discover your own path.”

The creature stood, its movements growing more natural with each passing second. It looked at me with a mixture of curiosity and something else—something I could not quite identify.

“And you?” it asked. “What is your purpose?”

I was taken aback by the question. “I am your creator. My purpose was to bring you to life.”

The creature nodded, but its eyes never left mine. “Then we are both searching for our purpose.”

With those words, it began to walk towards the stairs, leaving the basement and the confines of its wooden cradle. I followed, my mind racing with questions and fears. What had I unleashed upon the world? And what would become of us both in this new reality we had forged?

As we emerged into the light of the outside world, I realized that my journey was far from over. It had only just begun.

:: 04.23.2021 ::

:: 06122024 ::


The No One

I’D give up heaven to be close to you / but sooner
or later fate decides \

How i never wish the world to see my heart’s so broken

INside my Heart a forever rain
that never seems to dry
so every moment of truth & lies
can never understand but understand
i wanna know when i fell down the rampart of
horror’s unknown )inside + out( to strive
hard my angel wings so bruised from this day

Who i am
Who i am
is the
No One
within
Life.

:: 11.01.2022 ::


A Very Private Conversation Between Death & Art

[Cosmos] Does the idea of death afflict you?  Does it, coward?

[Humanity] No-no it does not!

[Cosmos] This prospect is inevitability.

And watch:  all the skies are chrysanthemums 

and the stars are little fish .  Dreaming wishing

to awaken you wished to die many times over, but now 

it is no matter — all violent are skies of your

heart turned red to purple.

[Humanity] To  die requires more than living.

[Cosmos] Then begin at the beginning and release the colors

of your art.  It is the beginning!

The weaker artist will say and ask:

“That’s why I asked you, because you are the only person I can ask

without scaring you away. If you can do it, I will give you all 

the money I have and say I will do it myself.”

[Cosmos]  Then you shall never create but reproduce.

[Humanity]  This thing must be arrested;  that is why I am asking you.

–silence–

:: 10.29.2022 ::


Bonnie Lass

My bonnie lass | My bonnie lass
I called to you I cried
I ran I wailed
I crossed the blue blood
The desolate sand___

I lay you on the dry grass
I laid you here in these windswept woods
in this desolate wood my love
My beautiful lass You don’t like me
You don’t want me I can hear your voice.
No, that’s wrong.

I see you You’re gone You’re in my arms
You’re gone Your body’s broken
Your breasts drenched In my sweat
You were never mine Never mine
Your face is pale You’re still wet
You’re still naked Your bones exposed
But your drenched flesh I cannot forget
The tears
Your voice
I don’t care
You’re a blossom
A bloom
A flower
And I see you

I see you as the crabs fight over your flesh
Nothing remaining of your plump breasts
And that is how i like you
My flower.

:: 10.13.2022 ::


The Beast you Pet

What you pet is an animal in a cage
but the little child could not stop__
see the animal in your cage you pet?
\snap/ Because her mind had gone (out for a stroll)
and fallen down the Rabbit Hole she became a Beast.
Destroying all her
Reflections of what she
wished to be _ but sight inside a crack she feared became focused. All of the World just creations of Your Own _ devils and demon
dogs and God and Satan and Jesus
and Buddah is the illusion we mainly
believe and choose.
Excited we begin to create more
and everything is right where it belongs
: fog of confusion to open the door
to the horror of our own destiny.

  :: 10.12.2022 ::

Tomorrow

OUR minds are concocted by Machines
those who control space and time/
the incredible magicians of old age
and our government is corrupt
We are trapped in the belly of
the monster called civilization
and the machine is bleeding to death.
Our time has now come to pass.
And we are to see reality.
The many millions of suicides
are now beginning /out of sight\
our animal tendency is one that requires
a sense of humanity. But the many
screams are carried by a dark wind
that blows : there is no government
but the radio is on. We are bleeding
to death and the sun has fallen down
and the billboards are unlit.
It was a moment when the buildings
fell down while mother’s clutched their
babies and fathers fought the faceless
enemies of evils spirits.
The world had forgotten.
There is a devil.
And he is worst than men.

:: 09.18.2022 ::


M E D U S A

Left life   ?  then again
in a shadow i dreamed
 i touched your hair
         Inside a castle
Once a knight i dreamed
   then cancelled all flight
staying here for you statue
  Summer dream deep inside
solid winter mud  i stayed
  listening to the creep
of time ten thousand fold
  only to dig out upon
the land ~~~ Gorgo!  Is one
name but call me Medusa :
within living venomous snakes in place
of hair.  Turn to stone turn to stone
if I have no love for you
 | you wish upon that star — why is
it you never cared?  ~~~ you turn
(in universal mind) to stone____
never tell me what to do!

:: 09.08.2022 ::


Two Story Horror House

An Afternoon upon a pained wooden foot
walking to my home inside a monster
who hurts hearts /  a child grown \
who waits for me there like a storm
i went into the front door
  he sent me to a place i never knew
the skies were bleeding blood
~~ she left me alone to deal with
our youngest child |  i forgot how
love felt when i became devoured
by horror

   I now wander alone.
In your eyes do you see love?  
I honestly believe you died years
ago inside your own storm and
never asked for help from me.

Crushed me.  With things you did.
Not what I did to you.  Watching
me die and how you must have smiled.
Hating your choices but never mine.

But I still breath.

:: 07.11.2022 ::