Tag Archives: #life

TOJANI

Tojani!  Even this is an act of fraud
tainted as far as it will.

So turn to me tainted as they blow
winds to make me go.

Truth of a thousand lies with no mercy
they blow to make me go so embrace myself
despoiled as they despoil and swore i’d
clean this slate with great certainty
and God’s mercy to wash away.

so i darted madly into the rain and hail
into little clouds that felt like daggers of tears
from the torrents of lost dreams.

Thinly beneath the surface of never-ending
controlling feelings i found myself between walls
closing in — insecured!     Bleeding blood and
worthless words so real //this tragic
reacting reflection of haunting life!

i found myself (god’s confidence
drained down the toilet of souls)
 
 I feel as though i was here before
  weeping wars of confused reality
  how this flesh makes me sick.

Every-universe is inside me.  But one spot
i keep for just me/as you\are we/i am and was

away.

:: 03.18.2022 ::


THE WORLD IN YOUR OWN BLOOD

See the world in your own blood, O Lamb of God, and tell what it is to be Christian!

He muttered something and lit a match, took it out and turned the bowl on its side with
the flame he blew on his fingers and began to scrub the side of his neck.

The heat of the sun threw up the dust of a landscape spread out below him, the sunlight
dappling all the long lines of the ramparts, the clustered cottages and the dying orchards.
The rich gold of the mountains and rivers changed the morning into a golden sunset,
the muddy fields turned deep red and purple and the village put a million shafts of yellow
and pink and purple and rose into the space of the brook beneath.

In that space, bidden by the holy spirit, he saw four figures draw up in a little boat.
The loch was deep and dark as pitch, there was nothing but a long narrow clear channel
and the dark outline of the bank. The edges of the boat gleamed darkly against the blackness.
One by one the figures rose out of the boat and set foot on the water. They stood upright now,
the outline of their bodies lifting and falling as they stepped out. In the sunlight they stood
almost as if they were made of gold. They turned round towards him.

—We are the brethren of Christ!

They spoke together, in counterpoint, in beautiful voices. They had broad shoulders and long legs
like Roman centurions and soft arms and breasts. Each of them was golden-haired, the long wings
of their breasts almost showing between the golden folds of their veils. They wore jewels of gold,
and heavy gold chains hung down around their necks. The shadow of their figures moved gently in
the sunlight, and the river spread out before them, full of light.

—Beautiful! cried the Shard of Light.

It looked away down the slope, at the village, where the only white faces were the white toes of
the youngest children.

—My dear sir, said a voice from the boat.

-What is was always.

:: 03.05.2022 ::


THE WORLD IS A MONSTER

The World is a Monster.
the secret destroyer
eats you all the same
desires and blood
is the game ~

From blame to blame

From sorrow to sorrow

we can’t fake it
no more

From darkness to darkness
and Death lies on Earth

The Land, the Water, the Earth,
the Birds and Animals,
And Man – the Land, the Water, the Earth,
the Birds and Animals,
And Man – like the Wings of Love
the Kingdom of the Earth Is a Prison
Under dying Souls.

To never be saved.

:: 02.01.2022 ::


Sleepers In Their Graves

That there were no Souls in the World – and no one there to blame – but Me.

That terrible sobs that took the time to lick a Heart that had forgotten how to sob, or even how to whisper, were redoubled into shrieks, and they kept me from laughing.

O heart of Mine, why do you howl?

If Thou wouldst die, then in vengeance thy Redeemer of Whom, Whose Heart was my own, and whose Whistle blew wild through the Rails, and who, at one moment when the Gate was open, as he reached the top of the Jail, and searched the Valley of Doom.

To find my Prisoner there, and to know that his Out-cries had been so wretchedly contrived, and, because they cried out so piteously, were not stopped at once!

How dare thou, thou Death, laugh? If Thou didst laugh at this, and the world now knows the Death that has come to me, in consequence of the Puny Strength with which Thine own weakness left Me.

Let the judgment of all come in, and they make the old curse true and then i should not be sad.

For those mourners, the unquiet were they – how the Sleepers in the Grave would cry:

“Those poor Souls!

Is there one Death, for another?”

But though all sleep sound those that dream are always sad. i had a Brother, i knew, who went for a Passenger, and his Friend had brought him, and held his hand when we left.

The Station – and in the Coach the Friend held up his Heart.

“Poor Brother, my Friend, have you never had Love?”

And his Friend said, “I don’t know that I ever had.”

Then they were gone.

And in my Brain, with a Funeral, i cried, “My Brother has gone!”

When my Brother and his Friend were lost i knew, in my Brain, that i should not die – yet they had gone from me for ever and for ever.

All the Earth is a city of Death – the Sun that has shone bright and cast up its golden rays must fade into Night, and the air shall turn cold, and the day will vanish like the evening:

when the Sun goes down, and it is Dark upon the Mountain.

Even the Stars, when the Sun is hot fade, and there are not as many as there once were.

The very Earth which gave brightness to the Branches of the Tree shall wither and die and fade, and the Blue of the sky will dissolve, and the Earth Will shake and fall into the Sea.

The City of Death in which we live is like a great Prison under the Earth.

The Clouds that surround us and Sooth our Sorrows are but Cloths that cover the Dome of the Pitiless Heaven – the Void where such Rulers as are but Planets, like our own shall reign.

We have no Ruler who rules by Love, no View from Heaven, no Vision from the Stars, no One to give us a Joy that would pass all our cares when we are set upon a Mountain, sighing over the Valley of Sorrow, whether our Heartbeats cease.

Luna can but smile when She sees we have passed the Point.

Where the Blue West gives the Shade of Night, and the Tree is pierced with Cold – and the Night of Light does not come but the Winter wanes.

And all mankind is contained in the Castle of Death.

There is no Labor which an Angel can give, there is no Beauty, there is no Joy,

There is no Heaven.

So for us there is the Earth, and the Flock that bares all whose Flying
is but Death and Murder, and Death’s distant Call, and it is Death, of all things, that gives us all:

That Taste of Beauty.

While we fly on the Wings of Love, and with our Tears water the Earth
with our Love, our Wings go, and with our Corpse Land to fall upon the Earth.

With the Time comes the Age
When Love is heard
And no ear has ever heard it,
with the Age comes the Age
when Men look up, and no eye has ever gazed upon
no Green Earth – when the Tree is cut down the Earth is bare.

From Blame to Blame
From Sorrow to Sorrow
From Darkness to Darkness
And Death lies on Earth –
The Land, the Water, the Earth,
The Birds and Animals,
And Man – The Land, the Water, the Earth,
The Birds and Animals,
And Man – like the Wings of Love
The Kingdom of the Earth Is a Prison
Under the Earth.

When will We see our Land?
When will We fly away?
When will we light the Nights?
When will we light the Nights?
So my Song is very solemn,
But I hope in it one Hour

When we shall find our Land.
When the Day of Retribution
Is ended, and the sky is blue
and the Sun shines, and all that was buried
in the Dark of Night, shall come to Life.

The Earth shall be green,
The Trees shall yield fruit,
The Green of their Leaves shall radiate
all over the Earth.

We shall catch our Breath,
wnd thank God,
whose Love brought us together,
and made us Wings
for his Flock,

To fly away – the Wings of love.

My Story:

‘His Love is the Light that
shone in the World, 0when the Sun of Love
and the Golden Child was born in the Cave of Life.

And then the Angels said,
“Fetch the Child, bring him forth,
that he may be king of his Kingdom
but let it be done, in the Cave of Life –
therein he may reign

as Father and Son, for the King of Men
must not reign alone.”

They called the Child and said to him,
“Arise, Unto the King of all
the Happy Isle of Love
where You reign as
Emperor of Love.

The Angels called again the King of Love
and said to him, “Arise, unto the King of all
the Happy Isle of Love where You reign as
Emperor of Love.

And the King of Love Speak!”

“If you will not come with me
then fly away!
Fly away!
Fly away!
Let me be alone!”
And the King of Love left the cave of Life
And went up to the Heavens, and came down
and placed upon the Earth

all the Things that Matter.

:: 01.25.2021 ::


BALCONIED TREES

WHEN awakened by a sudden thing as Life
what to do?

i took my mouth in hand and walked down
the mountain to a river. My curious tale
behind me it was the bleat of a sound within
my throat that ragweed spoke.

Never a mystery as the ones i’ve met
have potted the balconied trees upon the
rows of my thoughts.

There! A sparrow that has fallen from
my dreams into the progress of strawberry-
wax lullabies i had once forgotten.

:: 12.21.2021 ::


TOME (dangerous friends inside one’s head)

ATE a memory of all my life & despised my refrain: how soil  and seed brings life or death
 your back turned (i feel blessed)  deciding style and finance
 were your gods so eat what you sow  & throw away wheat &  golden strands of souls

If inside mysterious feelings
you feel stupid and contagious
it’s best to feel a little sick
  and always will do oh do
 until  End / hello \ hell no |
Inside light sounds dangerous voices and touches vicious
 :a baby a fetus –| we tend to forget what makes us smile inside
our horrored MINDS.  Hell oh hell oh hello WAS a mysterious tasting of
stupid feelings worth the pain?
    worse or worst is all a gift even though Life must be better
   before it all Ends.

:: 12.17.2021 ::


ANOTHER DAY OF HOURS

LAST night another day of hours
so full of moments so full of holes
watched a bumble bee so quietly bow
tasted afterburn of Life
was i scared so i was
it was so loud

THEN there are those who group
into a stare while my feet leave
the dangerous floor
was i scared so i was
wasn’t i so proud?

Lord i prayed:  find my soul
beneath the online newspapers
& follow the voice of my dreams
pixelated within a scream
so now how well do you know
how it feels to have four thousand
holes within your tender Soul?
was i scared so i was
the best of me is the best of words
always so bold.

:: 12.17.2021 ::


CAN YOU FEEL ME (i’M MONSTER)

I love i try squeezing each other — someone else?
squeezing : too tear you apart (oh what you say?) vocal talent?
Oh – too two? My scarab bled. Oh, young minds get up and out.
how you sleep eye’d waken yea rapture.
Depending abrasion it held my body
running for my life :
running / shock social medical \
forgot formation medication :
covid decay my life — running for
life — yeah running for my l;ife..
I kept my religion inside my head
(terrible flavor) beat bounce yeah
in my seat fauci medical ? watching
records — hold me. I run. took two
shots and sipping life and fever if
it comes — fall butterflies flittering
while I decay | all for love and life.
I’m runnuing from my life.
I had you inside my coat pocket
and my flesh is vampire and never die
a sun is a chemical and human thing
: medical. Never die. How I wish it
would defy the monster inside my vein.
Never. All medical, yea. I’ so sorry
I forgot you. Human soul.

–> life is fun | death? /medical\
eternal life is posion.
never the one that dies.
A MONSTER CHEMICAL
NO WALLS no decay.
running from my life : i’m running
from life and i shed this life to make another one
met Mozart and met Marc Anthony and Cleo —
boring people ….who hurt so many/ and Christ…
yea I holy ONE. So sorry I saw you die — oh how
you asked me not to save you. CAN YOU MEND MY HEART.
CAN YOU TELL ME YOU NEVER BELIEVED ME?

:: 11.3.2021 ::


CLOACOL EVIDENCE

MY DREAMS are secret destroyers
while i sleep in bed and my desire
is a piece to gain (oh, yea. love)
eACH one (desire) thought alone
Sing, they are right to sing
but they sing destroying cities.

That lonely way you kill yourself.

Frayed MOIST NIGHT
(i’ve been weeping alone for one
more show) Shall we endure you a bit Longer?
(What you got?) Shall never shake.
Cloacal evidence so cold!
Spent. Within each other’s eyes.

THEIR NIGHTS OF DESIRES
EXHAUSTED only to dream
of dying and cruel words.

IN SPITE of all the rains of deranged
thoughts and words torrents of stone
labors of foam___ rancor of loose Jesus
eyes: without hope.

In spite of my anger I’m still just
a lonely soul : in spite! With a safety
pin stuck inside our side we shall shout
and take our minds where we want it to be.

:: 11.20.2021 ::


ONLY MY LOVE

AND IF I GO AWAY
WITHIN the hands
of my love\forever love
So i express
it’s my love every
where dear — oh how
it’s understood
everywhere
And when we pinch
money to live ; it’s
our love understood
how i love my love.
AND WHEN the cold comes
in seasons my love warms
me as love should.
Oh, my love and only my
love holds the key
to me.

:: 1.07.2021 ::