Tag Archives: #hurt

LIVING GHOST OF PAST MEMORIES

NEAR the end of everything
life became more clearer
the whisper became loudly:

i should be laughing
i should be crying
i should be hanging —
up there

so do not come to my grave
because i am still walking
{i am not there]
do not bring me flowers
because i left my heart
beneath a growing garden
(it’s all within my will)

You know that love desires
valleys so deep like an ocean
and the highest of hills
within its swollen rolls
like a mystery mixed in a potion

And   everything is made of love;
like a thousand winds that blow
like a smile it kills the heart’s pain
Unlike the day the world came apart
and    the sun burned out
and    the moon fell down
and    the fire became so cold

So i am dead but still walking;
the living ghost of past memories.

:: 05-31-2018 ::


EYELESS DOLL HEART

you’re just a thief
dressed in sexy skin
like when I find
miserable relief
you take it away
and replace it with
an eyeless doll heart!
so I write each word
like each character
stabbing you and i
can feel you hating me
and I feel just fine at
a Walmart line
with Advil in my
bruised hand after hitting
the walls

:: 07-25-2015 ::


THE LAST KISS

THE last kiss felt like eternity
i caught myself and all the dreams
i think were real
and the heart tears
a hole in my soul
and i try to kill it
all away…
i saw the gods of love and hate
and tried to kill it all away…
what is life, a familiar pain?
what is love: a poem of death
its what i know
AND i almost had it all!  Until
i let me down
__i made me hurt
and i see a river of little hearts
full of broken thoughts
and i remain eternally
loving what i broke
and i am what i know
all that i could become
just a thought thinking
i could have had it all

:: 07-21-2015 ::


CHILDHOOD SCHOOL

i would with older shoes walk wet streets and watch
mirrored water scattered-by what was my dreams
the taunting children of school screaming “you are
poor!” seeing holes within my pants/but my heart was
and ALWAYS new regardless of school’s seasons and some
-gentler kind HEARTED souls would befriend me }| in the
library always where I stayed at recess and after lunch
until the metal heart beating drill-drum thrumbed rapping
ringing bell rang:
“come! let us congregate
again and match brain-to-brain!”
i always won when they
picked upon my soul
always gentle to them
but the lesson was higher
than the chin upon where
they gripped the floor
life, that burning decision of purpose!

:: 07-09-2015 ::


MY CLOSET IS THE CLOSEST THING

my closet is the closest thing
to my heart.  i keep my soul
behind the door to my closet,
is all i ever knew and
safely tucked away behind
that door my heart;
near the shoes by the soul
below the pants and within
the corner of my weeping eyes
i hide my heart.
my closet is the closest thing
to my heart.

:: 02-16-2015 ::


I CANNOT PULL MYSELF TOGETHER

i cannot pull myself
together
u  n  t  i  l
i have complete ly
f a
l
l
e
n
a   p     art

:: 10-28-2014 ::


A LONELY CHILD

I shed my tears
and night skin
that moon too
and all along
lonely voices
sing to me

“You filthy child
born of poverty
what good are you”

I hung my head
and shoved along
followed my tears
gutters love pity
but angels sang
“lovely one, child…”

Oh, love come soon!
a gentle hand is good
but the eye of pity
burns through my soul!
I am a little boy
and children hurt too

I wither in denial
and alone, what are tears
if my love is ignored
what is a poor child to do
if my smiles are ignored
humanity has many hearts…

one to love
another to hate
then again —
the killer is you
and my blood
drips from your hands

Oh, love deny
the beasts in life
and gather here
within my lonely heart
a kiss from heaven
mother-love come soon

:: 04-13-2014 ::


I CAN ONLY LIVE…

I CAN only live as what I am
even if it hurts you
So sad I am to know
if tears fall upon your face
I will taste them each day
and love life if only for you
I can only live in truth
and my faith believes in me
If it loves me it loves you
I live each day as my last
and I wish the same for you
living each day as my last day
And I hope some day
you willl join me

::01-07-2014::