Daily Archives: March 19, 2022


NOTHING survived.

 Yet i live.

Or is it that everyone
survived but i died?

Walking the chalk line
of homicide-art upon
a wet empty alley
in NYC I wanted to smoke.

No funnel of light.
No friends or family
members greeted me.

Just blood, brains,
and fear.

My face.  It left me.
Yet my hands were in
my pockets.  

If this be death then
death was kind.

Across the way, a diner.
I saw people-things
through the windows.

“gimme a cup of coffee.”
You look sore for the eyes
said the server.

One of her arms was missing.

The girl next to me had
something terribly wrong
with her back. That one eye
stared beyond me; made me
turn around to see what she
must have been looking at.

“Make that a scotch instead”
I croaked.

Nothing survived.  Yet I live.

:: 03.18.2022 ::


a strung-out song

a pit-angel trap

green as money

without feeling

sang the fat

evil thought

ramming inside

the white cave

of my dilapidated


how can any artist

sell out for fame

is beyond me.

i know i must be

mentally unwell

but need for money

was never the cause

for my derangement.

I blame my dreams.

My dreams are


a divine pain. Inside

my throat.  Beneath

my head inside my


:: 03.18.2022 ::


deeplying falling kissing wishing
hoping loving hugging believing
how a butterfly was a bug
inside a bag of tender skin

like me

lasting, blasting, feeling, crying
destroying, allowing oneself

to die____like you like me

We are all inside a room called life
dying climbing tearing the walls
wishing we could escape

no such thing

Our creatures say there’s more outside
but no one has seen the after-life

so like a bug inside a bag of tender skin
we dream we can become the butterfly
we love:

to fly away.

:: 03.18.2022 ::


MEMORIES MELT into nights
as flowing rivers of hearts
where we met

Bees buzz singing
‘she loves you’
and flowers wilt
as dry tongues

Some leave others arrive,
to a country of hearts
breaking states  —
 how nature adores all

Be mine be wondrous as skies
above as below such feelings
how you never loved me i should
hate you but never could

 how nature adores you

Memories melt into nights
flowing knowing some things
could never come true so i
sing how beez buzz singing

‘how i love you’
within strings big as drawing
pins writing songs where voices
stick inside the intractable mind.

::  03.18.2022 ::


[the Egyptians are extremely interesting to us today
for various reasons. How science today wishes to
understand the secret ingredients where that the Egyptians
used when they wrapped up dead people so that their faces
would not rot for innumerable centuries.]

LIKE SILVER BIRDS before the wind
enthusiastic looking religious people who sit in sky seats.

The germs breaking out of mankind with lumps of famous bronze.

They will clear up your guts.

Say, ‘shh.’ The corduroy forest is luscious and black smoke
of the lamp. Dots of red ants are upon the Letter we Opened.

They build trampolines in the dish but we have forgotten.
To not be able to shake the wrinkles off of time and memories.

How they watch and laugh!
Look, there is something we all want.

It has steps.

Here is the key:


The stoat jumps out of the fur and runs away to catch the scent.

Shh. — only for a moment then from behind the awful gilt wings of a magnificent
palace of life shall be painted on the blackened door. And when it is done it will
be our palace of course. Bluebells, bluebells, bluebells of hundreds–like far-off suns–
hand strayed from that beaten path.

:: 03.18.2022 ::


Tojani!  Even this is an act of fraud
tainted as far as it will.

So turn to me tainted as they blow
winds to make me go.

Truth of a thousand lies with no mercy
they blow to make me go so embrace myself
despoiled as they despoil and swore i’d
clean this slate with great certainty
and God’s mercy to wash away.

so i darted madly into the rain and hail
into little clouds that felt like daggers of tears
from the torrents of lost dreams.

Thinly beneath the surface of never-ending
controlling feelings i found myself between walls
closing in — insecured!     Bleeding blood and
worthless words so real //this tragic
reacting reflection of haunting life!

i found myself (god’s confidence
drained down the toilet of souls)
 I feel as though i was here before
  weeping wars of confused reality
  how this flesh makes me sick.

Every-universe is inside me.  But one spot
i keep for just me/as you\are we/i am and was


:: 03.18.2022 ::


I darted madly into the rain and hail
that fell in little clouds which
felt as tears from the torrents
of dying souls from this storm:

Leaping out from the storm
I found my children:
one upon a wet pillow
another within the bough.

I began my direction
above the beach,
down across the fields
I darted through the rain
all I wanted was a daughter
my gripping hands lost
to be my sweet self.

But, when she came
I had to make more
than a ditch
even I was a little older
and wiser
like a mother
in the shadow of my childhood
not so young anymore

:: 03.18.2022 ::

I lay in my bed
when they came
for to me.

Whispering not a word
with gleaming eyes
as silver came
to me and those others
those come from the stars
they turned my heart and home
into a zoo

like a slaughter house
of freaks.

:: 03.18.2022 ::


B U T T E R F L Y catch the catcher in the rye
my oh my how feelings eat my heart and would
you believe if i said nature loves a whore
of course we could have dinner and squabble over words.

Now is not the time and time is never now.

A lost conception of mind & it really socks me here
there inside my aching heart.

And if you’ve fought yourself who made up with you now
just the moan deep inside the empty now:

such is superficiality in society &
how we bleed red and deep purple
lips wishing we had never breathed

As are these feelings eating my heart
and you’d never believe nature is
a queen of unforgiven gifts as life.

A Catcher in the Rye.

:: 03.18.2022 ::