i fear i shall wake up in the morning to
find the world understands my poetry.
Then the mystery of soul is gone.
Then the mystery of love survives.
That’s the only choice — to choose both.
:: 04.04.2022 ::
i fear i shall wake up in the morning to
find the world understands my poetry.
Then the mystery of soul is gone.
Then the mystery of love survives.
That’s the only choice — to choose both.
:: 04.04.2022 ::
He Is No Longer The Light He Used To Be
On Golden Wings he lost sight Oh Dance In The Dark Of Night
Sing To The Morning Light
The Magic Runes Are Writ In Gold to Bring balance Back
so bring It Back On Golden Wings as Two Guitars Gather
within broken darkness I Don’t Know What To Do
I’m Moving Out On My Own
A Bad Mother’s No Bully
She’s Got A Chance
Like This Down To Get It
Oh My Gosh Up And Down
i lost my head oh lost
inside a small flower
challenging a bee
it stung my needs
Falling Out Of Love With
The flesh and last tastes
of blood i knew i was dead
Yea a journey to the green heart
to necessitate endless growth
a garden of sacred art
How Do I Live Without My Shit!?!
Home Alone — aren’t we all
She’s Got A Touch Of Spice
Ooh Hey
And Out Of The Blue
There Goes The Weekend
Boy Gets A New Girl
When In Doubt Play The Bad Girl
when confident i simplify life
then a great day to fuck off
grab my coat and a coffee
so we go.
:: 04.04.2022 ::
MY eyes are tired.
That which i have kissed
is everything upon your head
and religion of flesh.
i accepted everything.
Now my mind sweats losing
thoughts — broken legs.
i sleep inside the sewer
of your bed in all it’s dirt.
fallen sun. broken moon.
where once we had fun.
:: 04.04.2022 ::
ACT I
Night enters. Ned Sandy: paralysed in eye by gun shot.
Scene: Mannequin with rotting limbs “Deadman on the Freeway.”
And instead of being the good guy, he’s good, bad, worse.
Why kill? Don’t know yet, but maybe he had an affair with his client’s wife
and that’s why her husband killed the four guys. Maybe that’s why we’re reading
this now, maybe even typing this, but then “Deadman on the Freeway”, too could be Will Rogers.
With dead, all in the middle of the road. Come, the business man, because the cops will come
and he’ll know about it. He’ll know the ends and outs, all the dirty secrets. Just a shitty
little man with issues, everyone needs someone. Maybe they’re his problems. In space, man has
only one star in his eyes. You and me, buddy, we’re on this road for eternity, my friend.
My friend is dying here, dying of a bullet in the heart. It’s dead man time.
(Ned Sandy) “I think I’m going crazy. I think the whole world is under death’s thumb.
FUCKING.”
(Salt Shaker) “You just can’t imagine what it feels like not being afraid.
‘Coma’ played, fragments of Janis.
And ‘Amarillo by Morning.’
I need sleep.”
At 1818, we get some thunder. Seemed fine then but now I’m alone, not sure what’s missing,
like who’s gone. What’s worse, I don’t even need to be afraid. The ground’s giving away,
sinking, I’m in limbo. Too afraid to leave though, want to linger and be afraid in the silence,
scared of waking up.
The only sound is the wind.
Lights in the clouds, storm.
‘Rolling into town’ played, fragments of James Taylor.
‘I am the Walrus’ played.
Here it is now. A choice that couldn’t be more clear.
I look up to the sky, watery as the ocean.
‘Just like an Eagle’ played, fragments of the Who.
‘Sweet Leilani’ played.
Not in danger now, no way.
‘Rock Me Amadeus’.
It’s the end, but not in an end.
Time to go.
First night back in “The Land of Night”.
Won’t be enough to finish the work, but I will finish what I came here to do. I’ll
I’ll finish this. I’m here because I want to be. I have work to do.
Mid-morning. I didn’t sleep. Time for coffee, 8AM and day’s halfway done. Something happened to make me stay here, drink this coffee. I don’t understand it, don’t understand it but I will.
Maybe I’m just having an existential moment, a moment of reflection, of spirituality. It’s crazy to talk about this, but as we move through our lives, it’s the moment you realize what you are and what you are not.
Maybe I’m just realizing that I’m a writer and that that’s the best thing I could be.
:: 04.04.2022 ::
Pierced by my glistening nails.
I love your hair with the lightest of touches.
I rip your mouth with my lips.
Let me love you. *Body. It’s honey,
that’s all. * Darling, be mine!
Be my temple.
Let me be your village.
Let me be your state!
Let me be your God.
You’ll be under my domination.
All in Your Mine!!!
Come, eat from my right breast.
You’ll be my lover, I’m just dying to kiss you!
Come to my bewitching kisses, I don’t care where.
I’ll get in heaven or hell.
I’m only with you. * With his strength,
His hands.
His lips, his teeth
And even his strong tongue.
He wants to make me happy.
He will only take me to heaven.
And let me be the best in the world!
After a while, he’ll be bored.
And then I’ll be the best in the world!
To serve you, darling is my world of horror.
To serve you, sweet, and not to be fucked
for fuck’s sake.
And to be taken in my turn.
To be loved for myself.
For me alone.
Then shall I die.
:: 04.04.2022 ::
IF I broke the memory of my name
let me not betray moments of now
or of that history yet born.
How thoughts are indiscreet
or alters when alteration finds,
how hope in light never dies
O no! How powerful is reason
and that of a look upon tempest
never shaken; how that poison
of a first kiss is always a step
into the most beautifully broken
dream — and all souls whose
worth in unknown height that many
hope — is a star inside Heaven
How love is never time of fools
but how youth and belief becomes
brief hours and weeks and years
until a day comes when a torn
broken soul remembers those
errors of life that came home.
:: 04.03.2022 ::
ABBY, the most amount of good is not enough
~ BUT ~
i am more than a mouthpiece
I am above them,
the cold fingers of a lover
embrace me as you seek to trace the marks
in my body then follow my path of ruin
until my wounds are healed
but where once i rose, i grow
but i am never whole, never the same.
i will keep the air thick with grief
as you use your fingers to touch
your nose to mine until we are dust,
i will live on in our hearts,
until we meet again,
~ BUT ~
if we meet, you shall burn.
let me show you my people
they are beyond your understanding
but then so am I
~~ MY MOMENT OF JOY ~
i do not know how i survived the
thought of you my mind gone
my body taut and still,
blood pounding through my temples,
through my eyes, but
i do not feel alone,
i hear a soft breath and see
a beautiful little girl
in the blue of the sky.
i am moving.
i move a hundred times
a second i move once
a thousand, louder than thunder
the tempest of blood that threatens to drown me,
i move once again and it is done
a tree appears and i sink into it
then i am passing through the sky
i feel wind on my face
i see her smile
i know that there is
no fate to defeat me
she will guide me
then she will love me
until her breath is my breath
and we are only we
~
~~ IMAGINATIONS OF FROZEN FEVER ~
i am dreaming
i am wishing
i am seeing things that do not exist
~ i DO NOT
EVER EXPECT YOU TO BE THE LAST ONE
who reaches out
EVER TO HIS HOSTS IN THE DARK
I DO NOT EVER EXAGGERATE
THE IMAGE EVER
TRUE
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE OF LIFE
and I WAS ALWAYS FREE.
more than you know
The creature that comes to you and binds your life to your dreams
the night-horrors that rule your beasts, or shall i cower and die?
I came to you to surrender but then you gave your heart to another
now my words are useless and i see the dead walking
and in your eyes there is only a false light
i am so confused, let me be with you i am free
your blood has become my food and so i fade away,
so that you can remain never forget to forget
never forgive those who forget you will never be forgotten
~ BUT ~
the things i tell you, my visions, my words,
your flesh they stay with you
until your eyes no longer see
when i am but a wind-mote blown off the tip of your hair
and so when you cry and your heart breaks you cannot
let me go
my bones lay on your soul for all the life that you are
i am the shadow that never leaves you
the whisper of my sigh!
:: 04.03.2022 ::
~~ TIRED in the wind
lips bewitch me in the night.
… WITH MY ARCHE OF CALCULATIONS ~
i exist inside our universe
but i am not a part of it
i love you all, without you i am not true
let me be where i need to be
let me forget the hatred that killed you
that I slaughtered with my sword
There is nothing that cannot be forgiven
what is unforgivable is a waste
to those who die from the chains of Hell
let there be rest for those who seek to destroy
no solution exists
with you, it was a forgotten place
where we were free of the madness
you brought me to my knees
you changed my body from flesh to crystal
now its flowing blood is nothing
i no longer have the time
to fear this being
shall i protect my spirit
i shall haunt the night-horrors
that rule your beasts,
or shall i cower and die?
I came to you to surrender
but then you gave your heart to another
now my words are useless
and i see the dead walking
and in your eyes
there is only a false light
i am so confused, let me be
with you i am free
your blood has become my food
and so i fade away,
so that you can remain
never forget to forget
never forgive those who ask to be forgiven
always remember me,
and live in my shadow,
long after i have gone.
~~ THE CREATURE THAT RENEWS YOU ~
any expression of your sorrow, sorrow,
through singing or any kind of media,
it is a small pity that stays
by your side
until you are drained of emotion,
until the circles turn to squares,
until the rainbow fades
and you are on your own.
to allow yourself to cry at the loss
of an unrequited love is to do yourself
:: 04.03.2022 ::
MY EDIFICE of blood and flesh
has become weak
may my skin become weapons
to shoot the shadows of time
i could hide underneath
an ancient bridge ~~
but the motorcars carry pets
from the past and i eat fish
flickering movement like eyes
thickening as hallow hearts
bleaching spasms along the way
only once i burst between
your tighs and then you died
overdose upon fertile soil
of a shameless body
A mere memory inside the skin
of a cold universe
double-winged dreams tears away
my tongue — thirst, my clothes
all illusions so shall i sleep.
:: 04.03.2022 ::
i ate a terrible piece of Life
jiggle i think
will do as a chemical criminal
jounce possibility can tell
upon my tongue better how
the balloons move (as her
ghost lurks — bitch won’t die
after divorce — a bad taste
of chlorine and steep walls
of no sharpest neat word
//running for my life
yeah running for my life \\
dreams of how her tall corpsecoloured
body sat itself inside my cord of
tender Life — there’s no neatest
or sharpest beating heart word
for the thing.
My throat ?
I had myself inside the warm coat
pocket of frogs so green and slimy
so i run and said again how it
it feels so medical and incredible
she continues to hurt me — no
escape or reprieve so i decay
inside the love that i now give up.
No. Never. Warpped rapped inside
paper and forever dead. When the
birds sing its for that death
and nature came and struck the
smug face of that monkey branching
soul.
:: 04.02.2022 ::
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