Daily Archives: September 18, 2015

PAYMENT FOR THE DEBT OF LIFE

i gave myself to despair
and paid it in tears
i cried rivers of dreams
that left me too
over there,
somewhere there
too, where i left me
by that roaring river
and my soul that which
(wishing i’d never)
regretting fully
but still have
my beating heart
with despair
and a few tears
still left within
my wishful life
giving me to “it”
called life.

:: 09182015 ::


SUMMER HOUSE POETRY: 2. I SHOULD KEEP MY MOUTH SMALLER THAN MY WORDS

Come gaze with me (you)
upon the forever childhood
“thous must!” say adults
his father’s joy,
unto whom pissings whisper low
“i am okay in superman’s
pants best i wished to be
in Misses Cleaver’s heart”
— little clay man who walks
stiff legged I HATE to be that way!
i am two feet walking within the
fields of so many dead hearts
i am underneath a leaf
within a breath eating grass
and you may (I wonder) why
wondering I’ve come so close?
“Yes, it’s someway how you
placed a slender finger into
my mouth and we’ve become so
close” And you say, ‘something
something in the way i like your
poetry, and you’re okay, and
you may not be great but you’re
so very different.’
AND i keep on saying to me:
i’m so safe in my ways i’m so
safe keeping everyone away

:: 09182015 ::


JESUS I LOVE THIS DOG

i felt so inside my head today
while dying inside
my ugly body a look of love\
so i’m so friendly
i have pretty heels
and tattoo’s of GOD (haha yeah)
upon my clean skin
it’s okay i booked jesus to care inside
my days SO I FOUND GOD YEAH! i love
me and all the smiles
— pretty vagrant man in a ditch singing
how horny he is for love yeah! yeah! yeah!
and I stole the red light near the county jail
and made every thought religious for thick-thought
walls of my ugly heart
and God gave me everyday to light my candles
yeah! yeah! oh fuck yeah! And a dog without a home
looked at me and I’m so lonely so gave him my heart
Sir, I’m so excited Mister Jesus we’re okay
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah – like it/miss you/
love you/killed me many times
/where is your father?
yeah, me too//a tune of anymore i fought
loving you…god knows but is so busy feeding a dog

:: 09182015 ::


TARTSKIDS WITH BLEEDING KNEES

i weep gold coined tears
that()you gather mong crum
wanting a clock of physical addiction
i tither between(tumb
ling) cause i say
‘in case i want it all’
and in all of all we never knew perfect
creation and dancing/PHYSICAL
addicition wing spit prowls inside haha
)nowhere ( so i
keep you inside a jar
and Hotel du Golf
…. of my forgotten
dreams yeah…N O T H A N K S

in the someday in the sunday
of sound of someday what’s that
sound? what’s that sound…
like a thousand gallons of
rubbing alcohol flowing through
the strip of my deranged mind
hahaha mOOn Ove iOwns mOOn
wishper less creature huge
gr()pingness

:: 09172015 ::


WOULD YOU LIKE SOME WINE?

angels kissing flowers
i am refusing dreams
so i’m being pulled along
a thousand miles of love
i’m so drowning inside
my mind: making strange
slowly blinking faces
till i find a bed for my
head///i hear a trumpet
like a war machine
and i am so warm
feeling so silly
forgiving enemies who
i play with in that sun
of God who is A Big NIGHT
in the sky called LOVE
MACHINE such a warm machine
and every army bends a knee
to this machine — i forgive
me and you say now i feel
alright making smiles
that the world and skies paint
into beautiful love
and now i wish to catch the
angels who kiss the flowers
they’re me! A love
machine! Such a warm machine!
machine…machine! so playful

:: 09172015 ::


WE HURT THE PEOPLE WE LOVE

truly to beautifully
our minds tenderly
comprehend green gardens
awakened //asleep–ing\\
in bitter denial like
this hand who holds
a torn beating heart
along the treacherous
vapor lights of main street
i awoke again in a fit
outside my self touched
your lips and if we touch
all the ones we love
like this most early
single tear/tongue
tugs //when i touch your
lips and what we do to
the people we love makes
(through pale miles a spectacle
perishing air) we love
and hurt the people we love
(when i am outside myself)

:: 09172015 ::


UNCORKED AND BLINDED BY REALITY

WELCOME to this insane asylum where
all people live and do not fret!
It does not ever
matter if you want it or not;
we’re all mad here as you…
as me — YOU’RE MAD!

Well, i believe in me
and life can change
‘and go on till you come
to the end: then stop’

And you ran as fast as a rabbit
feet in brier dreams JUST TO
STAY IN PLACE
OH MY, my little me i’ll
never be the same; the more i
change i’ll never be myself
and the night laughs dripping
dew moaning: i wonder if she’s
been changed in the night
and the small invisible
things who rule the world
speak: if you wish to live
you must dream life and run
twice as fast and never be
someone else’s dream
SO I BELIEVE! REVOLUTION
to believe i am not a chance
tonight…tonight
somehow i dream

:: 09172015 ::


I AM MONSTER

I  see your blood within our eyes
  the beauty of a whore
gently whispering abandonment
and abusive treatment //*\\
you fueling murderous rage
inside me  and to this child
you brought into motion
 and beat me with a stick
i am the filthy mass that
     moves and speaks
  i am so unadorned
(i’ll always be your whore)
  i am unknown by mother
and father — a child of
a whore  //stoned by rocks
pulled teeth\\ and subjected
by inhumanity a perfect injustice
  i wished beauty in my life
and you cry, “Even now my blood
boils at the recollection of
this injustice” So, within my tears
and a many-fractured heart say,
“…i relieve thee, my creator…
thrust i take from thee a sight
which you abhor”
   I AM MONSTER!
:: 09172015 ::

:: 09172015 ::


A FOOL FOR LOVE

i tore a word
within my mind
and who knows how much
strength it takes
to second guess
a page the poet writes
and though you walked lightly
into my life so i take your
heart and write how much i
care; now i don’t know who
i am without you,
you touch me
you kiss me
you changed me
and heard my heart awakens
within the fire of life
like you walk lightly
into my life
and now all my pain is
cast into the sea,
of all my doubt,
so lost within your eyes
and if i lose everything
within your fire i send my
love all to you
AND HONOR YOU
and send all my love to you

:: 09172015 ::


FORGIVE ME — I SAW YOU

Forgive me –i saw you
since the sun broke mid-
day /before the light
made shadows which i am
one now unforgivably.
Unscientifically, just
purely loving, i see you:
self-poised soul as though
you are a butterfly!
Perched upon many thoughts and i say
you are upon that yellow flower
and how motionless within
the cafe //it may as well be
a plot of orchard-ground
whose trees are cousins to pain
and sister-flowers; i do not
know you but forever knew you
lodged within a familiar sanctuary!
And after Winter melts we have
many things to share
with sunshine and song

:: 09172015 ::