Daily Archives: October 30, 2022

i Prefer Pain to Death

I prefer pain to death even in deep regret!
Over frozen feelings that feel summer’s breath.
Do i, yes i do. I love and hate kissed me |
we wept in a small closet upon the second floor
of the house i was born. Oh, love! Oh hate!
How to feel different. When my tears fall
upon the wooden floor of my room.

Dear, love. How I never knew you.

Fearing lost from love. Never fearing Death.
I embrace the cold fingers of lost wishing.
The one who never came — false ones did.
And buried me deep. Within my wishes of
tears and dead hope.



There are darknesses in life and there are lights
and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights.

You are an example to all of us who love you.

He wished to kiss me again, and I resisted it this time,
but in the back of my mind it seemed to me that he had
almost been in despair.

You don’t hear or see somebody talking in this way unless
something terrible has happened to them.

I told him I was there. The man he wanted. I wanted him.
And then, feeling ashamed, I hugged him.

Now he was getting the message: I loved him!

That’s the last thing he needed: to feel loved, then to realize
it, then to die!

Suddenly I didn’t feel tired anymore, and we went on our way.
Him unto dirt and me into the world naked.

The next days I was determined to get some news from him, any news,
by his ghost but there was nothing.

As such I expired my body by blade. Bleed. And became his
as he was mine and I was his.

:: 10.29.2022 ::