Category Archives: #angst

WHAT IS LOVE

There is so much a man can tell you, so much he can say
You remain my power, my pleasure, my pain
To me you’re like a growing addiction that I can’t deny
Now won’t you tell me, is that healthy, baby?
Now won’t you tell me, is that healthy, baby?

My power and my pleasure;  an addiction…

So “God is here, with you, and in you.”
 There is a supreme and infinite pleasure that fills your heart.
Some languages of love will only permit love as a verb or simply a noun.

You are part of everything; you are not separate from anything.

Everything is part of you; you are part of everything; you are not
separate from anything.

So, i am and should fall large and in light that you shine,
can you see me?  So baby, I compare you to a kiss from a dream
i live every day.  

You may feel your experience of the world is disjunctive – somehow
disconnected. What is the actual nature of our existence? Is it
static, or in constant flux?

Maybe that is just your individual perception.

But we can try to figure it out by seeing how things affect us

  • and how we can do that.

This path we choose is about learning how to communicate effectively
with what we find, giving it meaning, and acting in ways that contribute.
If we are engaged in the pursuit of love in a real, open and collaborative way,
we can witness how relationships change and grow.

We may start with a story, but we are essentially learning how to be a partner.
We can see in our interactions how we are unbalanced, not yet aware that we need to change.
Over time, we discover what we are trying to hide, and begin to open up in our relationships.

The inner change begins with our hearts!

:: 01.06.2021 ::


ANGOSTURA BITTERS — NO SUN NO LIGHT

i can stir you with a swizzle stick     //make a thin neck break: make you
a Manhattan that takes you to Jupiter now \   through the heart rye or Canadian whisky and red vermouth :: we travel the stars buying all the real estate like a bloody Mary and turn your coals into ice or make your spine climb up your back — Maraschino cherry
(swizzle stick) a truce for life up in my room and pull
the world from under you /analyze any faith through the brain
with no antidote — we all know blow-back sometimes for a thrill
but nothings like Earth’s air (we are searching for a place
like Earth to ruin again) light years to go.

Bought a planet called HD 209458 b (nickname “Osiris”)
all they wanted was a few beads and an axe called the “lady.”
reminded me of my ancestors and Chicago.  Now I am soiled by
soul; interplanetary officers joke and say, “he would sell
his mother if she was a rock.”
  So now i set my sights on a region called Empty God.
No planets, stars, or gases.  
  Under my console i keep an ancient alien document
no one knows of — therein lies the mercy of God.
After thrusters here i go.

:: 10.10.2020 ::


L I S T E N

Listen. Today i lost my voice — it left upward looking for my mind.
sometimes the strangeness of Life becomes reality and nothing more.
today i found myself within a garden of snakes and meat-devouring
plants. If not for the purple skies it would have been a wasted
experience. Meeting God was an experience before i found myself
inside a fetus that became my physical body.
the doves sang a brilliant but sometimes somber song;
peace of a piece so small it became nothing before i could
touch it’s sharp and exquisite edge.
Listen.
Today i lost my mind.
and my voice flew downward looking for sanity.

:: 09.11.2020 ::


WHEN BLOOD MEETS MOONLIGHT

\   after the worst of days
of any age –on these nights
when blood meets moonlight
never feel bad for me.

i was glad
    to grow upon any night
so winds sing sounds–the
gates are near

ii.

when i wake up–Over there,
framed by a heart whose ventures
i love;  take me August nights!
after the worst of days

of any age
on these nights
when blood meets
moonlight.

:: 08.02.2020 ::


lalala-da-lala-ta-dah

NOW that i have lost everything
for you :/grieving\:
take all the icons of your wild
world (too hard to get by
upon a smile)
& now lost within everything
old |–>so THE-new-breaks my grieving
heart –> so babe baBY its
like a sorrowful sad girl
just because we’re best friends
doesn’t mean there’s good strangers
lalala-da-lala-ta-dah
: evil eats tender loving hearts
so new so white so black so true
so you leave so take care
;take all that makes you beautiful;
this mysterious world is a wild
world so oh baby it’s a wild world
(as the child you are: never want to
see you sad, girl so take care and hope
you have a lot of friends out there —
just remember there’s a lot of bad there.
)

:: 07.22.2020 ::


POLYGON

Polly gone
oh polygon
what quadri-
laterals you
possess!

two-dimensional
(go) figure made
up of straight sides
(besides myself)
oh Polly’s gone
prolly so i still see
your shadows within
my head but full fleshed
within my beating heart

is why Polly’s gone
oh polygon what quadri-
laterals you possess!

:: 07.21.2020 ::


EMBERS & STONE

EVERY night of every day i take my love to bed
yea; Leave my heart upon the
dinner plate for the cold
, oh ;
at night its must worse
oh how these lonely tears
fall away screaming
all within silence
So I ask God, “what do i do?”
and listen to the song of
a bird dying each note
all within the long-time
backyard inside my head___
so i’m coming Home now: no need to leave
my heart upon the alter of pain & sorrow.

:: 07.19.2020 ::


JOURNAL: 07172020

TOO! i am too tired for Love___i drained
my member silently this day: of no love,
fanfare nor beauty i did this to die again/
the sun was rolling upon my house’s roof
and all the neighborhood dogs howled
in joy at the large yellow bouncing ball
of fire and death\and me –alone.

:: 07.17.2020 ::


DIE BEFORE DEVOURED

i eat fresh flowers
(before they perish)
they die before devoured
simply: saved food & moods
stay sane when you can
we’re in the dark of Light
oh_! how like the
boy on a swing ; but if
you never know what important
things mean
— our smiled-faces
and gods shooting guns.
WE could ask for more:
our Hearts (whored) sounds:
singing fruit! Hey! come one
now: we dance and sing when
nothing bothers us.

i swallowed my head — so
worried — but okay you are
you & i am me everyday_
light my white candles.

:: 04.26.2020 ::


ACT (of) ONE

THE curtains open to broken applause
an audience of great mystery
i cannot see their faces
nor their eyes
my Usher flees me!
And Time, the soliloquy
for Thespian lies
with each act an act of Life
and props on spot
for dramatic plots
Agh! my lines evade me!
Evade me for all i am
worthless within my House
of Theater:

The Absurd
The Humour
The Horror
The Love

of tears of joy of laughter
of sorrow of broken lines
upon my heart
upon my face
within the glass
upon the shattered floor

AND within the miles of aisles
of faceless witness
my lines flee me!
Within and without such cosmic shatter
an audience so abstract is my life
an Act (of) One.

:: 08-19-2018 ::