Category Archives: #despair


FATIGUED and humbled
are the moments
like stretched-broken
dreams of bottomless
desire // call me never
—desired by no one
My name : emptiness
. Nickname: ruinous.
The earthworm needs me.
Evil curses my tolerance.
The world absolutely
B R O K E N. \\

:: 10-05-2018 ::


i met a poet just today

he greeted me with much

laughter as foreplay

(we seized each other

from brim to toe)

one cried the other sang

a hymn

and at the end we shook

our head contemplating

which the queerer

and stepped away

from our mirror.

:: 09-12-2018 ::


i birthed one of my famous dreams
last night and invited the
whole town. every inconsiderate
thought came and the flat shadows
of my dearest fears.
the Child with no face on the sidewalk
outlines in broad strokes
Despair. a piece of dove of peace
smothered in regrets on a wooden table
served on a terrace of blinding terror.
only the smallest of facts carry
the greatest stories of which this one
is condemned to 3 o’clock each mourning.
before heaven awakens.
before sizzling strains
of gravity prove awakened
minds are too heavy.
as the rest of the town hides everywhere
that sanity has escaped i press
hard into my eyes by thumbs to forget.
manifested dreams is a sidecar
of my mental vehicle. again at sunrise
to find that one last star yet devoured
by daylight. a wish upon that remaining
survivor — allow this to be me!

:: 09-10-2018 ::


i have a dry heart without color
— and watch me go.
i am the begger on the street
begging for a soul,
watching how beautiful people go.
i see a row of living flowers
all colors but never turning black.
i see how your sundress flows,
and i see a line of lovers
some turn their heads.
i am always besides myself
waiting for you through the door
watching the doornob turn.
i say my lungs are blue and if I
open my eyes what shall i see.
I see a door so painted black
and wish you’d turn your head
and listen to the words of my soul.
a heart so full of colors and flowers
that will never turn black,
looking inside myself i see ribs
that shall never turn black
facing facts — i see a bluejay too
looking for her nest and my love
laughs with me and I see a black door
with no doorknob and see how love goes
by and I still turn my head
wishing love to visit my soul

uh huh hmm…uh huh hmm…turning black
she turns her head and fills my
darkest black //

:: 10142015 ::


THE last kiss felt like eternity
i caught myself and all the dreams
i think were real
and the heart tears
a hole in my soul
and i try to kill it
all away…
i saw the gods of love and hate
and tried to kill it all away…
what is life, a familiar pain?
what is love: a poem of death
its what i know
AND i almost had it all!  Until
i let me down
__i made me hurt
and i see a river of little hearts
full of broken thoughts
and i remain eternally
loving what i broke
and i am what i know
all that i could become
just a thought thinking
i could have had it all

:: 07-21-2015 ::


and all the pain
lives within
a celluloid strip [YOU]
of moving pictures
across the space
of a point in time
it’s the tremolo
score of life
like shoes that fit
within your soul
it’s all of you
so you ride the back
of a bumble bee
it tickles your thighs
but the buzzing soothes
the soul within you
and painted lips
collect gossamer threads
you hold your breath
dreaming of a love
that died within you
it’s all the same
life-life, merry-go-round

:: 02-15-2015 ::


AND the devil said, “Who’s got the heart
of my lover?” and the sky burned
in thunder-lust and the angels fled
like a bad bad storm.
I stood up like a prick and said,
“I ate him last night.”
And heaven help me for the way I am..
I am just a hungry woman looking for
the one who can help me know I am
more than this need I have within my soul.
So the devil looked inside my soul
and flew away, said, “honey, you got more
a need for the soul you ate
and I’m just the devil.”

I’ve been a bad bad girl
and I ran away the devil
but all I need is just
a good man.

:: 11-17-2014 ::


Such wind blows my love, upon your dreams
that flower of fields once knew bright warmth.
And now the grasp of pain so coldly sweeps
upon frozen tears — pain hurts the soul!
I should say come away! Away from sorrow…
but the gate between fate and me is locked.
Should i find that eternal key it be your heart!

:: 02-08–2014 ::
rev: 10-30-2014


i cannot pull myself
u  n  t  i  l
i have complete ly
f a
a   p     art

:: 10-28-2014 ::


AND the lonely
are one army!
We shall fight
to the end
for all love!
Against evil,
and soldiers
of hate and fear,
the victor, us!
Our spoils
nothing more
than love
and peace!
This ends war!

:: 10-28-2014 ::