Tag Archives: #pain

FLAT SHADOWS

i birthed one of my famous dreams
last night and invited the
whole town. every inconsiderate
thought came and the flat shadows
of my dearest fears.
the Child with no face on the sidewalk
outlines in broad strokes
Despair. a piece of dove of peace
smothered in regrets on a wooden table
served on a terrace of blinding terror.
only the smallest of facts carry
the greatest stories of which this one
is condemned to 3 o’clock each mourning.
before heaven awakens.
before sizzling strains
of gravity prove awakened
minds are too heavy.
as the rest of the town hides everywhere
that sanity has escaped i press
hard into my eyes by thumbs to forget.
manifested dreams is a sidecar
of my mental vehicle. again at sunrise
to find that one last star yet devoured
by daylight. a wish upon that remaining
survivor — allow this to be me!

:: 09-10-2018 ::


GOLDEN BEE

(i could never hide
because)

i am libra
always drawn
toward your pain

allow my tongue
to lick the nectar
of your swollen soul

i am free of your lies
like Jesus not Galba
as a bee i vomit honey

so sweet you want
to die

i am a force un-wrecked
like water flowing through
steel or winter’s fire

i am the golden bee
i am free
i am free

of your lies

if you look into my eyes
what will you see?
no anger just spirit

it’s all you wish to be

more than a smiling face
on social media

i’m a spirit

a golden bee

i’m a spirit
of personality

:: 09-08-2018 ::


ACT (of) ONE

THE curtains open to broken applause
an audience of great mystery
i cannot see their faces
nor their eyes
my Usher flees me!
And Time, the soliloquy
for Thespian lies
with each act an act of Life
and props on spot
for dramatic plots
Agh! my lines evade me!
Evade me for all i am
worthless within my House
of Theater:

The Absurd
The Humour
The Horror
The Love

of tears of joy of laughter
of sorrow of broken lines
upon my heart
upon my face
within the glass
upon the shattered floor

AND within the miles of aisles
of faceless witness
my lines flee me!
Within and without such cosmic shatter
an audience so abstract is my life
an Act (of) One.

:: 08-19-2018 ::


Dew Pressed Evening Light

From the dew pressed evening light
there by the biding brightly might
of my somber receding life;
as others might lesser me could not
by depressed inner sigh
was and is my stormy life
depression within the fold.
From the earliest of my days
there within me sadness lay
And all the joy of my heart
by the same tone could not fight
for self unless i be torn;
my compassion extended long
beyond the reach of my needing
own — and now as time has stretched
it’s thinning arms i find myself
a stowaway upon the desolate spot
cast aside in stormy water
still my love and beating heart
sails across the vast dark void
to comfort afflicted tormented
souls- of blue and silver sparks
by striking words and thunder talk
the angel my guardian holds my
hand (now that Heaven hears
my tears) Of a day more near
than far when shall i too find
the love as my own to comfort me.

:: 08-03-2018 ::


I’VE BEEN KISSED BY A LARGERSby

There use to be a place for laughter
within this carnival ride of life
a large blue-eyed rabbit to ride
purple flying piglets wearing
knitted green sweaters kissing
roses in bloom — so the light
hits the bloom again
There is so much i could tell you
but you remain so much the power
so much the pain –> oh baby to
live like you’re an addiction
so i guess i should know i should
go but love how you kiss how your
roses are a colorLiking my heart
the light upon the dark side of me
(and did you know when it’s winter
you’re my summer rose?) And now that…
There’s so much i could tell you
oh how i love you love you like
an addiction when it snows
oooh when twin purple tulips bloom
PurpleBURST (i’ve been (ah!) [if i should crush…\
so much power so much my pleasure
so much my addiction my pain] of a DAY i
kissed and IF_i get addicted to love
then by more of the carnival of kisses
by life so MY PAIN
TO LIVE LIKE i love MY ADDICTION
and my heart BECOMES LARGERSby –>
the lips of your purple bloom.

and love remains.

:: 07-04-2018 ::


Sometimes & Only a Few Times

Sometimes and only a few times (this week) the tears just leak and fall everywhere I am.

My head does not have a heart and my heart does not have a mind ~ do you ever wonder
if others are afflicted, too?            By this bizarre physiological aliment called sensitivity.
[this morning my air mattressed — regretting that allowing my weight to burden
-it has a leak too, you see i sold my real bed and the women who had once
sleepy-hungryTime’d with me there)

AND; (thank you) I dug that hole over there by that imaginary oak tree which sits
beneath a bruised blue languishingly beautiful cloud;

within i have placed everything i am.
Last night by the full moon and my secret (but I shall only tell you) friend. She is
the ball of bountiful light and alive and hums in vibrant tones and she is now our
private secret
we covered the box with mother earth’s blessings and slept there. Growth is
2 parts terror and 3/4th’s pain //wishing it was never a scream that awoke me but
a tender kissed wish-made true )( winds are that thing
you feel when you lose a NothingMatteredAnyWho-thing.

And those boxed deeds me, my friend (and you Now…now now) planted have grown into
every shapedGhostBreathing debt-turned-gold.

The s p a c e s b e t w e e n w o r d s a r e t h e t r u e
m e s s a g es w a i t i n g t o b e e x p r e s s e d /i love you.

:: 06-30-2018 ::


LIVING GHOST OF PAST MEMORIES

NEAR the end of everything
life became more clearer
the whisper became loudly:

i should be laughing
i should be crying
i should be hanging —
up there

so do not come to my grave
because i am still walking
{i am not there]
do not bring me flowers
because i left my heart
beneath a growing garden
(it’s all within my will)

You know that love desires
valleys so deep like an ocean
and the highest of hills
within its swollen rolls
like a mystery mixed in a potion

And   everything is made of love;
like a thousand winds that blow
like a smile it kills the heart’s pain
Unlike the day the world came apart
and    the sun burned out
and    the moon fell down
and    the fire became so cold

So i am dead but still walking;
the living ghost of past memories.

:: 05-31-2018 ::


WE ARE THE LEADERS OF LOVE

my stake (you) my dreams thick
takes our oxygen away
like the edge of all things
further away than reality
begins the reel-to-reel
pasted light upon the wall
too sweet and horrifying
(this hope) afraid I’m never
going to awake from this
dream of delirious thoughts
–>so forget about me.
The dear caught in barbed-wire
we never knew how far and fast
superman could fly, but digress,
bones and flesh are the curses
of spirits trapped in human form.
So come let’s go back to school
and become leaders of the most
indescribable thing we call reality.
:: 11-14-2017 ::

AS LONELY AS MY HEART

Dark clouds as lonely as
my heart
Weeping tears of my
life
so begins again the night
the fright of living life

I want to be the one
I want to leave & run
I want to see the end
I want to taste real things

All my life I wanted to feel
but had a hold upon my heart
Never had a thing to say
to the indifferent Souls
So let me feel let me hear
all the pain of my lost life

Where I belong.

Where I cry.

Where I live inside
a vault
where it’s all my
own fault.

So dark clouds as lonely
as my heart
weeping tears of my own life.

:: 11-06-2017 ::


A Pain Inside a Hole So Far Deeply, No Echo

A pain. Inside a hole so far
deeply, no echo.
A morning sun sinking beneath
yesterday’s promises.
And i’m running toward the
edge of a crazy world.
i’m refusing to believe
we all are so very lost
no one has anymore love.
And save me Moon because
like a bright sight you
guide the shores and waves
of all these people; the
scared, tired, and mentally
drained peoples.

Our Earth.

:: 10-02-2017 ::