Category Archives: #abuse

SMOKING CIGARETTES AND SPIPPING COFFEE

Many-colored and candle-lights; high beyond the soft trees a fresh country
leans heavily toward the night, far beyond the sea’s shady shore.

Beams, o’er wide fields like a white star, \till from the earth’s crown drops the thunders. With breaths that stay the night, with sounds that never are hushed, with golden night-glories or amber the perfumes that I catch/, and wild nights of laughter: and by the deep sea violets and ladyship’s, with the smelling rose, and perfumes of forest; and rarities that we saw in open Heaven, and the drink of Oia, on the sweet chestnut tree,
with which the feet of Aphrodite might be not shackled, when the lust of Him; as some deem I.

And so we lament over him, with our wreaths Pallid, wan, or but paled by love’s heavy sighs, lovers whose burning lust is over; who shall still desire now thy embraces, or feel the beauty of thy cheek;
who shall fancy even now that the bonds of love are off the tongues of thine; or that all the charms of thy face have lost their force, and are swaying at the wind from thy native garlands?
And what pities the future lover, if even of l’amour’s kiss they have bewailed and of sweet love’s cloying aftertaste they are not ill pleased; if there should still be that sighing longing, that sighing sadness, that sighing passion, that sighing sigh, that sighing waste of life?

And what more pity if I should too that same sorrow too should befall him!

And I see that love weeps, in wailing. till her outstretching fingers take him to her bosom and tie him tight to the heart and mind of the one.
Now then, take thy ease with love’s passion, as a fair angel, whom God makes with an ecstatic gleam and white hair; his love’s upcast bird-chaser,
His love’s lady-mistress, His love’s wife, or maidenhood.
But seek that pleasure not with a partner, of whom one is no more than a plaything. What kind of thing is it, these men with whom we do marry, to whom a common fellow-countryman is no more honorable or good than the butcher or tailor, or shoe-maker. What kind of thing is it,
for whom is it either to worship God, or to lie in death’s burning sands?
If the sweet to taste was here among us, and the earl’s daughter would choose me, and not him, what with the big open eye, with all its blood-shooting sight, the mad gaze of their wild eyes!
And the round forked tongue! and the crazed face!
With the hanging lip! with the snarling teeth!
With the long hair! with the strange uncouth sign of their
Cocks and she-birds!
What would become of my high rank, to be taken, in my home country, as a commoner with one of those low fellows, whose fear stems from the spleen, and whose blood stems from the kidneys.
For I am rather wild and awkward, egotistic and impractical, desirable in their eyes, and hurtful in their lips, but if it were this way, I should be quite happy.
Would he ever require my foot for aught?
For my breast for his belly? My seat for his horse? I think not. Should I have my house, my servants, my arms, and I am well armed, yet I should still groan to see that from some far foreign land was by God taken a young and ambitious kinsman.

To perish so cruelly, so without hope would I ever be glad of any harm coming to him.

:: 10.03.2020 ::


BORN UPON A RAFT

i WAS born upon a raft; castaway upon the sea
many a year ago my birth upon the briny deep
And i know vast waters
all points across an oceanic reality
But once i dreamed i was born
— be upon a land where all i see
::disharmony
all points across vast humanity
where fear and pain delivered a daily dose
now realize birth-induced reality
is far better than human insanity

::01/07/2014::
::REV: 08192020 ::


SENTIMENTAL AND WIDE

SENTIMENTAL AND WIDE

WHISPERINGT GHOSTS
w a n d e r ing souls
eating muffins crazy cats
yarn at your feet — destruction
inside your heart/makes me lay down
throughout the night\ nEVER a
frown — a deadly smile of conviction
within my Cedar Box
it walks crushed & tulips i breathed
in the entire blue skies / –> so
together where you are : and all of
the things i ever said to you girl
makes me feel sentimental and wide.

:: 08.11.2020 ::


FROM HISTORY (Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien)

FROM history a golden step,– among
memories from ancestors, gray
gauzes, and broken bones that
turned back tyranny as bronze
liberated Souls and children
in the sun, no, i regret nothing
No, i regret nothing
so paid for, done, forgotten
i do not care for the past
 pain, blood, and miscarried
hopes — i’m done with the love
and trouble of Life so i start
over with nothing!

:: 08.02.2020 ::


THE MARCHING BOOTS

MET the Light that beats down my face
   a splice of time & space and twelve elders
 when they came the women fainted and livestock too
— oh .  Whoa.       My faith grew unto a forest
of gentle green to kill their unholy kind : we’ve
been blind: there’s no denying
Oh!  yea!  i’ve been crying.
  — walking all i see the sun
just the sun of ‘in my eyes’
  its sane/as i scream these
razor eyes\ come find me come
find me — ooooooh now.

:: 07.25.2020 ::


BETWEEN LIVES & THOUGHTS

between thoughts
such depth
my heart sank
–today.
The widow of Souls
now am i –? or
a mirage of god’s
weaker image?
this does NEVER
matter within my
own heart; i am
any-and-everything
i wish to be.

& MORE!

:: 07.22.2020 ::


DEEP STATE (FILTHY PIECES) ^ EATING YOUR CANCER

FILTHY pieces
of long-forgotten
thoughts i remember
i forgot to keep it
all far inside the die’
ist part of my vibrant
HEART-flower and sometimes
i looked within your heart-
shaped Soul so fragile and
Evil: i ate you all
makes The Tablet by
the firey finger-tips
of my mind : i have never
said go -and-die /you’re alive
| gathering sheep and smelling
fresh air i tripped over mySelf |
its an illusion called
Life — Hey! WAIT! i have a
message /you invited\ …
confusion!\

:: 07.22.2020 ::


MY MUD ARE SMILES

my mud are my smiles
so she asked me
are you lik,e Libra
eating my Soul
from within your
magnet Heart: i
thought and then wrote
precis of illusionary
words and unforgiveable
advice that taxed me:
crystal spine; it’s every
thought of your mind:
everything eating orchids
and placenta-angel breath
i barreled down so i could
confess back! Hey!
every thought
goes through your priceless
mind.

:: 07.22.2020 ::


TURANDOT: NESSUN DORMA!

so now i have eaten
all of you tiny
brilliant throats
of my heart!
i have not escaped
my madness either
: together the morning
and night meet —
today the sun and heart
oh so glory!
i forgot humanity
to live within fantasy.

:: 07.21.2020 ::


ORANGE SCREAMING SHERBET

Come on out  come on
come out come now
Oh  my pretends are
sometimes overboard
so no oh no so low
:last time i was born:
   a new song hummed
below  Hymen oh, heavens
  /tap top rap ed
me so too soon you
see the end oh ha oh
well so |hellobYES
are so delicious
   with a sun bee
torn inside HEad
.

:: 07.21.2020 ::