i am not allowed to be alone
until i am believed within
to never go alone with a man
alone without mother’s permission
but i am extremely polite and say
what is a gentleman who prefers
a bold woman who adores a man who
knows his place/and his woman
who knows hers? I am written
explaining to him in letters
i am the soul who knows i
believe in him and me
and so my love; the well-bred
man does his duty taking her hand
and takes me to the refreshment-room
after each dance and then leaves me safe
at my chaperone’s side is what i know
even though 2015…i am anachronistic
and so crucify me and all my feelings
— i am the one who survived one
hundred-fifty years tonight
tonight…tonight

::09201813 ::

I cannot pretend the sun      is a friend
i see my friends resting     under THE sun of a gun
i say my heart is blue and my skin so hangover
wherever my lover wishes to skin me
so slow streets –and i’m not like them
who can pretend their sun is gone and all
of my head is happy it’s just happy
i think i’m just happy i think
the sun i think the heat
i think the One is   meeting me in the SUN
and my heart is a dollar
wishing change — hangover:   just a few cents of living
false life –>listen to me within another poem

:: 09202015 ::

IF i am fearful
it flutters
upon autumn’s
best Apirl

anway and
it means more
to the sweet &
aged soul of
sweet benevolent
wishes evporating
within shape waxed-
mind of deepest love
by dear somehow the
gloomLove of missing
YOU myDEAR by you
thos cook by sun
the angry Americans
particularly the truest
ones who saw the blood
that which we now are
the byproduct of THEM.
Grand and Royal.
Which God keeps
secretly//
AMERICA.

:: 09192015 ::

FULL OF BROKEN THOUGHTS

THERE is a tear-soul in the moon so blue               tonight i opened my heart and mouth

and said,              “I am what i become and i hurt everyone who helped
love to build my wall of hurt in my empty asking.”

i tried to kill it blinded by silence
so i stand in the dumb darkness and focus and the song i hear is not the needle

that tears a hole but the sound of the blue jay
who is my sweetest friend while everyone goes away
And nature is my own and

my tears so bold

speaks to my hurt and Love pounds so solidly
and Life is hurt                   and if I could

ever say how much
i wish i could have ever found a way…

:: 09192015 ::

WITHIN the million years of
my need-Empire
A charm of smile and spilled
voice of emotion_children
speak//I know they want
me dead\\ The jester put
the belt across my neck
and empty daisies played
yet not too far to come
and called, ‘i swallow
and cry watching the
moon tonight giving all
my love to you..’
And whose beating heart
belongs to whom? And
to live that stoop as
a duke would do //and i
am so empty without you
i share my secrets with
life \\and upon this storm
the rainbow rose DEPARTED
to casualty and judgment
and this is the last day
for SOULS ON EARTH.

:: 09192015 ::