Category Archives: #dreams

Echoes of a Vanished Delight

In youth’s soft hours, the child commands the sage,
Awakening wishes deep within my breast,
To bind my days with nature’s gentle page,
In bonds of piety, supremely blessed.

A time when meadows, groves, and streams so clear,
Each common sight, in sacred light arrayed,
Celestial visions in a golden sphere,
Their glory fresh, their freshness never fade.

Yet now, the world has lost its former grace,
No matter where I turn, by day or night,
The things I saw, I can no longer trace,
Rainbows fade, and roses lose their light.

The moon surveys the bare and silent moor,
Stars shimmer on the waters in the night,
The sun’s birth is a dazzling, blissful tour,
Yet, still, I mourn a vanished, lost delight.

While birds sing songs of joy with voices clear,
And lambs, to tambour’s beat, dance on the ground,
My heart alone is drowned in sorrow’s cheer,
Yet timely words provide a healing sound.

Waterfalls trumpet loudly all around,
No sorrow taints this joyful, blissful season,
Echoes resound from peaks with glory crowned,
Winds bring me dreams with nature’s rhyme and reason.

The earth adorned with joy and boundless mirth,
Land, sea, and beast unite in festive cheer,
Oh, child of joy, let laughter fill the earth,
Shout round me, shepherd-boy, draw closely near.

Blessed creatures, I have heard your jubilant call,
The heavens join your jubilee so grand,
Your laughter echoes through the vast, grand hall,
Your blissful feast, I feel, I understand.

Oh, what a day! Should I, while all is bright,
Remain in sullen silence and despair,
This May-morn, when pure children’s pure delight
Fills every vale with scents so rich and rare?

I hear, I hear, with joy I hear the sound,
‘Midst beauty, one sad truth I still retain,
A single tree, a field, a scene renowned,
All whisper tales of what no more sustains.

Where has the visionary gleam now fled?
The glory, where? The dream that once was real?
Our birth is but a sleep, a foggy thread,
The soul that rises, distant stars reveal.

Not in complete oblivion do we come,
But cloaked in glory from our home above,
Heaven surrounds us in our early sum,
In childhood’s dawn, we feel its boundless love.

The prison-house its shadow soon will cast,
Upon the growing boy, its veil will fall,
Yet, in his joy, he’ll see the light steadfast,
He’ll find it in his heart, he’ll hear its call.

The youth, as eastward he must daily roam,
Nature’s priest, his vision pure and bright,
Guided by visions toward his heavenly home,
Yet then, the light fades into common light.

Earth offers pleasures, sweet in her own way,
Yearnings and thoughts, a mother’s gentle mind,
The nurse attempts, with efforts to convey,
Forget the glories that he left behind.

Behold the child, in blissful innocence,
A darling of six years, in tiny frame,
Surrounded by his mother’s fond presence,
With light from his dear father’s eyes, the same.

At his small feet, a chart, a plan, he lays,
A fragment from his dream of life ahead,
Shaped by his hands, in newly learned ways,
A wedding or a funeral, life’s thread.

This now consumes his heart, his soul, his song,
His tongue will weave through love, through business, strife,
Yet soon, this play will not endure for long,
A new role waits, bringing him joy and life.

A little actor, with a humorous stage,
He’ll fill his world with life in endless play,
Imitating all, from youth to feeble age,
A ceaseless mimicry in life’s array.

Thou, outward semblance, hiding vast within,
Thy soul’s immensity, none comprehend,
Thou seer, thy sight sees worlds beyond our ken,
Forever haunted by the eternal mind.

Mighty prophet, on whom truths repose,
The truths we seek throughout our fleeting days,
In darkness lost, where graves their secrets close,
Thou, over whom, Immortality sways.

A presence never to be cast away,
A child, yet glorious in your boundless might,
Why do you provoke the yoke’s sure display,
Struggling blindly ‘gainst your blessed delight?

Soon, earthly cares will weigh upon your soul,
Custom will press on you with icy hand,
Frosty and deep, the burden takes control,
Heavy as life, it claims you, take a stand.

Oh, joy! In embers, something yet survives,
Nature remembers what was fleeting, fast,
The thought of years gone by within me thrives,
Eternal blessings in their shadow cast.

Not for the worthy blessings do I sing,
Not for delight, or liberty’s pure creed,
In childhood’s heart, where hopes take flight on wing,
In new-fledged dreams, where innocence takes heed.

Not for these do I sing my thanks and praise,
But for the questions stubborn, unrelenting,
For senses and things lost in unseen ways,
For misgivings, for vanishing, tormenting.

For first affections, memories that fade,
A master-light that guides us through our days,
Upholds us, nurtures, never to degrade,
A truth that never dies, in countless ways.

In moments calm, though far from shores we be,
Our souls behold the sea that gave us birth,
In an instant, we travel there to see,
Children at play along the sandy earth.

Sing, birds, sing on, with your melodious song,
And let the lambs, to tambour’s beat, cavort,
In thought, we join your throng, joyous and strong,
Feel May’s delight in every beating heart.

Though radiant splendor now eludes my sight,
Though grass no longer gleams, nor flowers bloom,
We’ll grieve no more, for strength is found in night,
In what remains, we’ll find our inner room.

In primal sympathy, we find our peace,
A source that lights our days, both near and far,
In soothing thoughts that human suffering cease,
In faith that gazes through death’s silent bar.

And, oh, you fountains, meadows, hills, and groves,
Foretell no severance of our heartfelt ties,
Yet, in my heart, I feel your potent moves,
One joy I’ve given up, beneath your skies.

I love the brooks that ripple down their way,
Even more than when I danced along their side,
The innocent dawn of a brand-new day,
Is still as lovely, in its quiet glide.

The clouds that gather ’round the setting sun,
Take on a solemn hue from watching eyes,
That guard man’s fate until his day is done,
A different race, another victor lies.

Thanks to the human heart, our guiding light,
For tenderness, for joy, for all our fears,
To me, the meanest flower holds such might,
Its thoughts can drown in depths of silent tears.

:: 11.07.2023 ::


THE SILVER AXE

He wondered with horror how so many memories, so many forms to be branded on his skin and engrave there.

Then the wet rattle of a twisted throat, and he beats his last breath to his knees, gazed on from above as the wheezing thing sagged, and began on his shoes.

One God looked in that one eye of him, took in the whole writhing weight of him, and, from the spine of that beast, blew the darkness that will not let me alone!

It is yet again where we find the Poet’s Muse. Her eyes are green, and they pierce backward and forward even into his head and his heart, his brain and his soul.

I have been chained to this post for six months and now I am to be hanged, it’s a winter morning, half-light.

The axe’s face is pale; its teeth are ready to cut; the poet stands slack-jawed; and waits with a satisfied grimace.

She smiles with blind malignity; I am hanging here, she begins, and her voice gears in his head, makes him mad with every anger and whimpers sound with a silver-sparkle, It is another wish shattered, this one made to whittle the Golden Ace’s life down to a ring so narrow and brutish and pale and inhuman.

The writer cannot see her but his ears are mad With unspoken sounds.

She has left dark-green circles.

He had tried to fill them with wonder and beauty; she: they’re her, only more so, every blot and abrasion cunningly and by dark cunning by her own hand, ever more revolting; why the hell did you bring that creature with you?

There is nothing for you to do, (the axe growls). You cannot even reach me.

I told you that I wanted the axe.

Then are you sure you’re not just nervous?

I am telling you nothing.

The truth is harsh.

This is not true.

Well then stop worrying.

I am telling you nothing!

The Poet looks up in alarm.

The axe comes down, it makes a hideous, brassy sound.

And it is still: I am telling you nothing!

Her face is as white as that of the blade.

He is sweating.

I do not want the axe, he says finally.

I am coming down!

A chuckle.

The axe’s blade is laughing.

The Poet spins in place, does a somersault, lands on his feet.

He moves fast.

At the touch of his right foot he has snatched up and spun into the air, caught, dangled over a canyon by the thin tip of his finger.

There is a rattle in his head.

Okay, okay, he whispers, I am coming down.

He lands and slumps, panting.

His face is flushing red, his hair disheveled.

He grins through the tears running down his face.

Just me, he tells the axe.

You are alone in this awful place with all the stupid, insane weirdoes.

Where is the fun in that?

This place is for people like you, not me.

He is in a mood.

The axe slashes through the air, a silver blur.

The Poet leaps into its path, somehow knowing, somehow having seen what it will do before it happens.

He leaps back and the axe cleaves the air, then comes down to strike his left foot, where it clatters on the ground with a dull clatter.

He starts to bend over to pick it up, but the axe’s weight is too much for him.

He stumbles to one knee and falls to his left side.

The axe rests, not quite pointed at him, but ready, at his right leg and stares at it, mouth slightly ajar.

The blade is warm against his right leg, the handle warm against his cheek.

He gets himself up, he bends over, picks up the axe.

He kicks his right leg up, the axe goes flying past his body as if to his left, and he stretches his left leg out to catch it.

He pulls himself to his feet and does not bother with the blade and bends down to retrieve it, and reaches, but there is nothing there.

The edge is dull. Within his mind and he frowns, picks it up, holds it up in front of him, glances behind him.

The axe is nowhere to be found. But it is mentally within his hand.

He looks at the blue-gray sky, frowns, turns to walk along the canyon wall, head down, watching for the axe.

He waits.

The axe sits on his shoulder, blades jutting up into his neck or so it feels.

Yes! he thinks.

The axe.

It is not true.

He is all alone in the world.

And an old man.

What do you expect him to do?

He thinks about the little old lady he saw in town today, and starts to weep.

:: 04.23.2021 ::


THE SECRET

THE secret is within the liar’s mouth
i push you aside as a tongue searching
for the hole, reached so far i broke
my tendon-mind all away
i looked within your gapping heart
for ways — even there within the vast
emptiness of Memories

:: 07.24.2020 ::


TRYING TO PULL JESUS FROM HIS CROSS

i have walked within your
thunderstorms & broken nails
upon the wood of your maple
casket — makes me sad

called a dove the vulture of
all hearts (oh my)
hauled dirty stares within
the sack of my brain we all
refrain from bruised egos OH HEY
says the middle finger of my MOUTH
you can only lose
what you never had
and i broke nails
trying to pull Jesus
from his Cross//+\\

:: 03.11.2020 ::


NEAREST IS CLOSER

Nearest is closer than furtherest dead

will you walk with me i am stepping
over tomorrow into my wonderful-est
dreams over and beyond nearest
further than furtherest within my head

and of my heart are melodious feelings
will you walk with me i am stepping
over tomorrow and into a bliss
where tenderest is softest as love

As nearest is closer than furtherest dead

:: 10-07—–2018


FLAT SHADOWS

i birthed one of my famous dreams
last night and invited the
whole town. every inconsiderate
thought came and the flat shadows
of my dearest fears.
the Child with no face on the sidewalk
outlines in broad strokes
Despair. a piece of dove of peace
smothered in regrets on a wooden table
served on a terrace of blinding terror.
only the smallest of facts carry
the greatest stories of which this one
is condemned to 3 o’clock each mourning.
before heaven awakens.
before sizzling strains
of gravity prove awakened
minds are too heavy.
as the rest of the town hides everywhere
that sanity has escaped i press
hard into my eyes by thumbs to forget.
manifested dreams is a sidecar
of my mental vehicle. again at sunrise
to find that one last star yet devoured
by daylight. a wish upon that remaining
survivor — allow this to be me!

:: 09-10-2018 ::


AN OLD LADY THREW ME THE BIRD TODAY

A tongue like Excalibur melts into mythically steeled words
and ends up tearing hearts with all its magical properties.
Then the universe collapses into a final ending with nothing
left but the, “no thing.” It continues to breath and all words
move forward as zombied penguins with many semicolons standing
whimsically awaiting the next coherent thought.

And the deep dreamer asks, “So let me get this straight Jack”
to the Police Doctor on hand. “You want me to take my pencil
and right every wrong for those patients in the mechanical
ward of broken minds?” Just then a portal opens at the foot
of the deep dreamer’s mouth and the little blue clothed
munchkins drag him out of the ward and into a bread truck
and say, “You’re coming with us to settle a bet.”

The bread smells a wonderful Jesus-like body but there’s
no blood-wine to go with the screams.

:: 03-10-2018 ::


AND WHEN I DREAM

AND WHEN i dream
the world is more
alive than now
while i’m awake.

That i have dreamed
then i have lived
more than this
waking concept of ‘life.’

AND once i dreamed of
the source of all,
beyond my head
beyond my bed!

Soft, lit, travel-worn,
cognizant and bewildered
by all accounts: unborn
was & is my dreaming.

AND to dream is leaving
behind this world and
its flesh!
To return: weeping is.

Beware: to fall in love
with this other side
is to lose a part of one
the line erased by passion.

And those you love.

:: 12-28-2017 ::


In All Our Dreams

i am when was a good idea
that broken wheel
without a carriage or
passenger whose journey
by most unreal eyes
that can see all 4 seasons
in that glimpse
of forgotten reason;
that begging my sleeping brain
the permanently attentive
mind could never be yours /
so be it \ in all our dreams!

:: 09-08-2017 ::


THAT MUCH SLAUGHTERED FOR A SWEETNESS

so much darkness      so much light
when i cannot see      i remember
to never look directly into
that dark and sorry ending
(while the faithful are healing;
angels are mending (so many
as mountains)) and that much
slaughtered for a sweetness
we all call The Light.
:: 03-06-2017 ::